Man tells wife, 'your body dysmorphia is ruining our household. Our son can't take it.'
When this man feels like he may have offended his wife, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for telling my wife to shut up and eat what she's given or get out of the house and cook her own meals?'
Over the last year, my (m39) wife (f32) has been obsessed with her YouTube fitness channel and how she looks. She’s a very beautiful lady. At times in our 8 year relationship, there have been times she has been a little on the heavier side, BMI of 29. She’s been binge watching so many YouTube videos about diet, fitness and lifestyle that she now can’t even contemplate that she becoming obsessive.
She now has minimal body fat, but everyday tells me she needs to lose more fat. She now critiques every meal I cook because she can no longer eat carbs or cheese or whatever.
We cook all our meals from scratch. Sometimes we go all in and have a mound of pasta or a really cheesy pasta bake, but I think that we eat pretty well. Im the one who has the sweet tooth and she has cut out the indulgent stuff, which I think is great.
She’s now got to the point where every meal has to be managed, everything we buy has to be a ‘high protein’ version. She’s also at the gym 4 days a week (she usually goes early morning).
Today I lost it and told her that I will not be micromanaging the household meals. We have a son (1), we are a family and I’m going to cook homemade food and if she wants to live in a house where all food is super healthy and anything else is to be feared, she can go live on her own. I feel like this will affect our son's health too.
I admit my diet isn’t amazing, but I also think it’s not the most damaging. I eat takeout once a month. I’m not going to feel too guilty about it.
So, AITA for telling her to shut up and eat a home cooked meal or go and take her obsession elsewhere and to stop obsessing about her body?
Let's see what internet users had to say. They were torn!
ditzykitty writes:
Yeeeeeeesssshhhh. ETA. sounds like she has an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. She shouldn’t push that on your and your son. But also it needs to be dealt with with compassion, not anger. There are prob some mental issues going on with her surrounding weight and eating and she should go to a therapist.
thirstycharm writes:
YTA. You were mean and hostile. It would be reasonable to say 'hey, sometimes you're going to have to cook your own meal if you want something different than what I'm making.' It is not reasonable to tell her to 'shut up' and stop obsessing because you happen to want a different diet than she does.
jonbonjov writes:
YTA (leaning towards E S H) your wife may be bordering on disordered eating, and that’s not healthy, and not good to model for your child. But far more importantly she’s a grown adult with bodily autonomy. She co-owns your home. You have no right to demand she eats what you say and threaten to kick her out if she doesn’t.
What you can say is, “this is what I’m shopping for and cooking. If you’d prefer other food you are welcome to plan/cook/eat that, but I’m choosing not to cook that way.”