Man refuses to watch wife's c-section. She says, 'you need to share my trauma.' AITA?
When this husband is concerned that the birth of his child will traumatize him, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for not wanting to watch the birth of my child?'
Me and my wife were discussing on stuff related to children and childbirth when she asked if i will be in the operating room when the baby is delivered (she said she wants a C section due to her complications).
I responded saying it's too queasy and gory for me to handle as c sections involve cutting open a woman's abdomen and the sound of that alone is enough to make me uneasy.
She said i was being selfish and not considerate on 'sharing the trauma' since she has to bear the baby for 9 months and put her body on the line for it. I said that if biologically the men do not have to share it, then it's a choice they can make on if they want to or not.
Oh wow, OP really brought biology into the argument. Is this a red flag or a good point? Or both?
Besides, i did also mention that i'll be in the operation room to emotionally and physically support her through the delivery, just that i will not be watching the surgery. AITA here? Cheers!
Let's see what internet users had to say. Needless to say, they were torn.
okkangaroo writes:
YTA. Why? Because you haven’t done your research. Each hospital does it slightly different, but you can talk to them in advance. You’ll be sat down and blocked from seeing the surgery because some guys pass out when they see blood.
You’ll be able to talk with your wife and hold her hand. They will pull out the baby and you will either be able to see the baby before being cleaned up or after. You’ll be escorted out with the baby while they finish up with your wife.
Sitting with her during the C section is the least you can do to support her. Why haven’t you talked to other Dads first? By not doing your research, you’re making your wife feel unsupported right before she gives birth.
systemresident09 writes:
NTA. “Sharing the trauma” is a bad way to put it. You’ll still be present and in the room supporting her but it’s as if she’s resentful of being pregnant. Also, the way people barf or pass out as a reaction won’t help her at all or make the experience less stressful.
rosegarden87 writes:
YTA..suck it up dude. There's a drape that prevents you from seeing anything. And if hearing anything makes you puke or pass out, someone will take care of you and you will be embarrassed for your lifetime every time the story us told. And it will be told,by your wife, over and over again.
She put up with 9 months of discomfort, has to endure a cutting procedure and recover while taking care of a baby. You better be the most helpful father in the world, waiting on her and baby while she recovers. Be a man!
And one more interesting take on this situation.
shamangore7 writes:
NTA. I'm not saying I'd choose the same thing, but the point is that it is a choice. You're planning to be there to support her, you just don't want to look.
Frankly, I'm a little surprised your wife isn't already aware of your general queasiness around blood and gore, but even so, it's something that should be discussed, understood and accepted between loving partners. Emotions are high, so give your wife patience to work through her feelings too.