'What are you supposed to do when you meet a great girl but you're in a relationship?'
"What are you supposed to do when you meet a great girl but you're in a relationship?"
I'm in a relationship currently with my girlfriend of two and a half years. Things are going good, I do love her but we have different personalities which cause some conflict.
Neither of us are perfect and are constantly working on each other (which is how it should be I guess). I know she's in love with me and does a lot for me which is great, I also love her and do a lot for her.
I recently joined a volunteering group and I met this girl who's amazing. She's very attractive and we somehow just clicked. I genuinely didn't want to fall for anyone, I didn't even think I could but we had chemistry from the moment we met.
It was wild I had never clicked with a woman like that. We ended up staying together throughout the whole event, got lunch together, then got drinks and then she invited me over to chill and have dinner. I didn't even realize we spent 5 hours together.
I told her hey, I don't mean to give you the wrong idea but I have a girlfriend. I don't think I should come over. She was bummed and said damn, I haven't got along this well with anyone. I said yeah... Sorry. I do want to keep in touch though, can we be friends? She agreed and we took each others numbers.
I came back to the apartment, had dinner with my girlfriend and currently in bed but I can't shake this feeling. I feel terrible and guilty as I've been thinking about her the whole day. I can't seem to get her out of my mind. My girlfriend is awesome but she's not even in my mind for some reason. I don't know what to do.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
You cannot be friends with this woman. Choose, be with your girlfriend or try with this woman but you are lying to all 3 of you of you pretend you can just be friends with her.
I’m a man and I totally agree.
This is the correct answer. You have to make a choice. But also realize you don’t actually KNOW her just cause you had one really great day and supposed amazing chemistry.
Yeah exactly. She may end up with some weird personality quirk or opinion that gives you the ick. She may be on a break from her fiance and will end up going back to him.
Look, if you are so fixated on this new person, that means you are not committed to your current relationship and probably need to break up. But understand, any committed relationship will involve you choosing your partner over other people and things. If you don't want to do it for your current partner, maybe she's not right for you.
If you know your current GF is not the ONE, maybe you should end it?
Realize that what you're experiencing is a fantasy. It's just an idea. What you have with your girlfriend is real. Even if you were to date this other woman, the problems with her would make themselves apparent very quickly.
Do not confuse infatuation with real actual love. I can't tell OP what to do as I don't know any of these people but chances are very high that this new girl will later have the same conflict that you have with your current GF, and then you'll 'meet this new woman you hit it off with really great!' and the cycle continues as you just keep on chasing the infatuation stage of a relationship which never lasts forever.
Open_Address_2805 (OP)
Yeah I've been thinking about it and I do think it's more of a fantasy thing. An idealistic, romanticized type deal.
Hopefully your girlfriend meets a really cute and great guy at work too that can be her friend.
It was literally 5 hours with her. You know nothing about her. She could be an abusive menace. If you aren't happy with the girlfriend then break up.
You NEVER should have had that kind of time with the other girl if you have a Gf in the first place. Totally out of line. Spending that time and only then telling her you are with someone is bad form.
Now you have a decision to make. Break it off with your current girl then pursue the other girl with ZERO guarantee it will pan out or forget the 2nd girl and never get together with her again. Do NOT try and play the game with both that is low character.
Bro you don’t even know this new girl. You have no idea if she’s really “amazing” yet. Like dude you spent 5 hours with her and you think you know her inside and out. If I my gf did this with another guy I’d breakup with her on the spot.
You got her number? The fact you think it’s just to be friends or whatever BS you want to tell yourself is laughable and now you’re monkey branching until you decide to pull the trigger and either cheat on your gf (which you practically already have) or breakup with your gf and give this new girl a shot.
This is just sad all around. How on earth could you think it’s ok to go hangout with this girl one on one and spend 5 hours together? You clearly aren’t happy in your relationship. Your gf doesn’t deserve this.
You're saying things about there being conflict in your relationship due to personality conflicts or whatever, just leave. Sounds like you've "settled" with your girlfriend for a while and that's super cruddy.
If you're that easily strayed by one great afternoon with another woman you aren't committed and you need to leave. Also, AH move having dinner and drinks before saying you had a gf.