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'Found out my fiancé got me a fake engagement ring and now I want to call it off.' AITA? UPDATED

'Found out my fiancé got me a fake engagement ring and now I want to call it off.' AITA? UPDATED


"My (25/f) fiancé proposed to me but it turns out the ring is fake. He bought a name brand box off of ebay."

Hey guys, so my fiancé Mark (30/m) and I have been together for two years. Two months ago, he asked me to marry him and he gave me a beautiful Cartier engagement ring. I was really excited and of course I said yes. It was a beautiful ring and I was excited to be marrying the man I love.

The other day (Mark and I work together) I overheard two co-workers talking about Mark. Someone mentioned that Mark "make so much money but he didn't even give his girlfriend a real ring". The person asked for clarification and it turns out that Mark bought a Cartier box off of Ebay then bought a CZ ring to put in the box. I didn't want to believe it, then I took my ring to a jeweler to get it checked.

My ring is essentially worthless. It isn't anywhere near a diamond. Mark is on business right now. I'm so upset I haven't answered any of his calls or texts. I don't know what to say. Am I wrong for being this upset? I'm honestly starting to think this is a deal breaker. He's so cheap and stingy with his money but at least I thought he'd buy me a good ring when I know he can afford it. What should I do??

TL;DR: Boyfriend bought me a fake engagement ring and put it in a Cartier box to pass it off. Bragged to people we work with about what he did. I'm hurt and furious and honestly considering throwing that fake cheap ring at his face.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

bigb1tch said:

"Mark, let's go get the ring appraised for insurance purposes. It's so beautiful, I want to make sure it's protected" Than watch as his world burns around him... Or so says my SO after I read him this post.

teresajs said:

If he gave you a less expensive ring but was honest about it, that would be one thing. Putting a cheap cz in a Cartier box is lying. I wouldn't recommend marrying someone who was so comfortable with lying.

adifferenttimezone said:

I can't believe he bought a fake box just to convince you the ring was real. How... sleazy.

beanfiddler said:

He's bragging about how cheap he is and how he fooled you to his coworkers? What the hell? I wear a CZ ring, but I know it's CZ. I picked it out myself. We can't afford diamonds, and I don't want them anyway. Nobody fooled me into accepting it, and nobody went to work the next day and bragged about pulling one over on me.

Honestly, I'd call off the wedding if someone did that to me. It's not about the diamonds or the CZ, it's about the deliberate deception and then bragging about it. He could have discussed with you his reluctance to drop a significant amount of money on a ring, and helped you pick out one that you both were happy with.

Instead, he lied, bragged about lying, and had absolutely no intention of telling you the truth. I guarantee he's going to do sh!t like this again the next time a money issue comes up. But it'll be too late, because you married him. Seriously, call it off. You can't marry someone who's that financially dishonest to you. It's your financial future on the line as well, once you're married.

If he can't treat you like an equal partner and just steamrolls over your objections to how he handles money in the most passive aggressive and dishonest way possible, he's absolutely going to continually pull sh!t like this during your marriage. What happens when it's about your children and what they need, and he's too cheap to pay for it?

Seriously, dump his cheap ass. Fake ring equals fake engagement. He just expected you to start the most honest thing in your life with a massive deception. He doesn't respect you and he expects you to marry him? Screw that.

[deleted] said:

I'd be less concerned about the actual value of the ring itself and more about the fact that Mark seems to think you're a person he can scam into complacency. This is not the first time he's likely pulled stunts like this and it sure as sh!t won't be the last. Strongly consider ending this relationship.

reirarei said:

Hold up. He's BRAGGING about tricking you to people at work? Lord have mercy. Is this fool stupid? He MUST be, because anyone that works in an office knows that that sh!t spreads like wild fire. Not only is he stupid, he's a scammer with zero respect for your intelligence.

That ain't love. Is he seriously 30 damn years old?! Ditch this loser. He ain't worth it. When he asks you why, tell him you want someone that'll take you seriously-- not a clown.

Verdict: NTA.

Two days after her original post, she shared this update:

Long story short, I finally answered Mark's calls and kept it as calm as I could. I told him I wanted to take an insurance policy out on the ring because it was very valuable and I was taking it to an appraiser. Mark immediately shut up and told me that I shouldn't do that until he got back, that he already had a warranty in place at the jeweler, that I shouldn't make big decisions without him.

After he stopped spouting off reasons, I told him that it was too late, I already took the ring to a jeweler, and knew that not only was it a worthless piece of glass, but also silver plated. The bastard stammered and the only intelligent thing that came out of his mouth was "You took it to a real jeweler?". Huge fight over finances, selfishness, and lying ensued.

He accused me of being a gold digger and I refuted this by asking him to try and remember that last time I EVER made him pay for anything or buy me anything. He had no answer. I said I wanted no part of something based on a lie and hung up. Switched the Facebook status from engaged to single.

Oh, and changed the locks on our apartment and gave our dog to my sister to make sure he doesn't try to keep him (I paid for the dog and all his shots). He'll have a fun time trying to get in when he comes back from his travel.

tl;dr: Dumped lying, cheap a$$ fiance. Changed the locks on our apartment and had someone take our dog so he can't get to him. Can't wait for him to try his key in the lock and fail or have a tantrum when he realizes "his" beloved dog is now with my sister.

Edit: Realize that I need to give this idiot a written letter that says he has 30 days to vacate. I'm giving him the letter the second he walks in; will give him a spare key if he insists on staying. Darn.


[deleted]: On one hand, it seems silly to leave someone over a ring, but on the other, this is about so much more than the ring. It's about his manipulating and lying to you. That's unacceptable. I'm glad you found a solution that you are comfortable with.

OP: Exactly. The ring just brought all the other issues to a head. I'm too angry right now to be sad, but there's no worse feeling when a man that claims to "love" you takes joy in manipulating you and bragging about what he did to people that know us both personally and in a professional place.


I did love him. Very much so. But there comes a point where enough is enough, especially when it comes to something he knew I took very seriously. I can't be disrespected anymore; thus I'm putting my foot down and making sure my decision sticks.

Sources: Reddit
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