GF who constantly DMs 'sexy' celebrities tells BF she's pregnant now. + Update
"AITAH for breaking up with my gf because she said she was pregnant?"
sokka11615
I (20M) have been with my gf (21F) for one year. We are in college two states away from each other and doing long distance. At first, everything was going smoothly. However, as time went on, she began to get upset over things that I believed to be minor.
For example, following celebrities like Zendaya, and maintaining friendships with women who I knew before we started dating (who were also in our initial friend group). Over time, I recognized this as a double standard because she would openly talk about male celebrities that she found attractive and would repost their posts on social media.
There have been many times where she would give me ultimatums and tell me if I didn't do something (Removing women I've known for years from social media) she would break up with me. Recently whenever we would have arguments, she admittedly would say things with the intention of hurting my feelings and making me upset.
The most recent example, a couple days ago she texted me saying that she was pregnant. After I tried to call her multiple times, she texted me that she wasn't sure if it was mine, implying that she had cheated on me with another man.
She then told me that she was not pregnant, and that it was just a test/prank. When I asked her why she did it she said it was revenge for how I had made her feel.
After all this I called her and told her I was breaking up with her. To which she responded with crying and begging me not to. She insists that she is sorry, and that she will change. I know she loves me but i don't know if she is actually going to change, or if she is just saying this so I will stay with her.
AITA for breaking up with her or should i give her another chance? I genuinely want this to work but I feel like she's not willing to put in the effort to change so we can work through this.
She has specifically told me in previous situations like this, that she wants to intentionally hurt my feelings when I do something that upsets her. She says that she didn't mean it but I don't know if I'm the asshole for standing by my decision to leave her.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's initial post:
Tiny_Inevitable_3488
NTA break up with her, marry Zendaya.
Spirited_Block250
She’s not ready for a serious relationship she is confusing possession with love. She is controlling, manipulative and isolating you from people from your life just to please her. The more you allow the more she will do.
She is crying because her actions have consequences that she didn’t think of, if you stay with her, she won’t change for a while. She has insecurities she needs to deal with before she will be able to have a healthy happy relationship. It’s up to you if u want to stay with her but it sounds like you guys aren’t very compatible rn.
Ok-Stable-8348
NTA. She played a stupid game, and won a stupid prize. But if you prove to her that she won't be accountable for her actions by staying with her, she will no longer be the stupid one.
Almost two months later, the OP returned with an update.
"Update"
sokka11615
If you don’t feel like reading the post, here is a quick summary: Our friend’s girlfriend is a terrible person, and here is why… She lied about being pregnant to our friend, suggested that she cheated on him, berated him for following female celebrities (like Madison Beer) but follows conventionally attractive male celebrities (like Timothee Chalamet and Tom Holland).
She threatens to break up with him over any minor inconvenience, reposts TikToks about cheating on him, wanting to hurt him, and complaining about him. She won’t let him maintain friendships with women he's been friends with since elementary school.
She reposts TikToks about wanting to hook up with male celebrities. She admitted to wanting to physically abuse him and has socially isolated him. He deleted Instagram.
Basically, she is a waking double standard. She is emotionally manipulating him, and she is a major narcissist. He is convinced that she loves him and that she just has a different way of showing it. We have tried to warn him time and time again, but he refuses to listen to us.
We made this Reddit post to get some insight from the world on our friend’s situation. Unfortunately a few days after we made that post, his girlfriend travelled across states to visit him and they got back together.
My friends and I are very torn about sending the Reddit post to him because we are unsure if he will be upset with us over it. We want him to read the post so he can hear what the comments have to say from an objective perspective since we all know her personally.
He has already reblocked the girls who are in our friend group and has not been the same since he got back together with her. He has been declining our calls more often, being silent, not texting us back, and overall seeming sad.
He is aware that this is not good but is convinced that she loves him and he does not want to leave her. We don't know what to do in this situation since we know this is clearly a toxic relationship.
She hasn’t changed a bit from the last post we made, even though she promised him she would. Is it worth the risk of him being mad to show him the truth about her?
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this update:
knittedjedi
Unfortunately you can't help people who don't want to be helped.
Due-Difficulty-2946
NTA bruh moment.
SonnySunshineGirl
At this point the only thing the friends can really do is just leave him alone but let him know they’re there for him if needed.
Mochii_D
NTA, Honestly she seems to be a narcissist. That's how narcissists are, they try to manipulate you with their words but they end up being double standards. I had a relationship like that where the guy told me he had an OF and had videos with other girls and asked me "is it fine if I still do these videos?"
And "yesterday I did a video with three girls, you should join too" and then he said that everything was a prank, but I had my concerns...It end up being bad, end up crying over him for nothing. GET OUT OF THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE BEFORE SHE DESTROYS YOU.
mortar_n_pestilence
This, but also, if the situation presents itself, keep telling him he deserves more. It may seem like it’s falling on deaf ears, but he is hearing you and hopefully one day soon he will believe it and leave this toxic relationship.