When this pregnant woman is fed up with her "selfish" sister, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for kicking my sister out of my gender reveal?"
I had my gender reveal at the weekend and when it was announced we were having a baby girl my sister burst into tears. She has 3 boys and had always wanted a girl. They had their third in hopes of getting a girl but when it didnt happen my brother in law said he didnt want anymore kids.
My youngest nephew is now 3 so I was suprised when she reacted like that. It annoyed me because when she ran to the bathroom my mom went after her when she had barely congratulated us.
When my sister got back from the bathroom she said congrats to me and had stopped crying but she still looked pissed and was just sitting with her arms crossed. I told her to leave and that she was selfish, she has three healthy kids and needs to get over it now.
She was pissed and took her gift with her and my mom said I need more empathy for my sister and that it’s been really hard for her to give up her dream. My mom only stayed for a little longer and then went early to go check on my sister. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
aristol7 writes:
ESH. This is also what happens when gender is presented as such a BFD, and gender reveal parties are a waste of time. Having a gender reveal party already implies that you have investment in the result and the gender, so it really shouldn't be a surprise that other people with their own experiences have such an investment in gender as well.
But it does sound like selfishness runs in the family, tbh. Could she have had some better emotional regulation? For sure. She pulled focus on "your big day," which is what actually upset you.
Could you have had some empathy? Absolutely. On some level you must realize that her response actually had nothing to do with you. And it's all about the delivery; you could have said "you have three healthy boys, and that's so amazing" in a soothing tone, given her a hug, and had a moment to bond.
You could have approached her in an attempt to comfort her, but instead you went on the attack and said, "Get over it or get out." AH move.
You can disagree with someone's feelings and still be empathic and kind towards them. If my sister is crying, I want to be there to support her - but obviously can't speak to your relationship with yours.
aloneteacher654 writes:
NTA. It was not the time nor the place for your sister to do this. She has a right to her valid emotions, but she could have congratulated you (if possible for her at the moment) and quietly left the party so she could deal with her disappointment and resentment.
Instead, the behavior was likely noticed by other guests, as well as you, about the situation. Plus, as this occurred with other family and friends, this has likely opened the door for her sons to find out this reaction in the future.
I am sure that she loves and adores them, but knowing your mother was crushed that none of them turned out to be a girl could be really hurtful.
Your mom should have realized that both of her daughters were hurt by this, and she should have been more empathetic towards you as well as your sister.
dewaltschung writes:
NTA, but your sister is. People who keep spawning while hoping for the desired gender should not be having kids. It’s okay to be disappointed, it’s not okay to act like a petulant child when you should be feeling happy for a pregnant sibling.
She’s acting like nobody around her is allowed to have girls without her having a mental breakdown. Imagine the boys within earshot, how would they feel? Congratulations and I wish you a smooth pregnancy!