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'AITA for 'ruining' my cousin's honeymoon after not being invited to her wedding?' NEW UPDATE

'AITA for 'ruining' my cousin's honeymoon after not being invited to her wedding?' NEW UPDATE

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"AITA for 'ruining' my cousin's honeymoon after not being invited to her wedding?"

Mysterious-Froyo-887

I (27F) have a cousin (27F), we'll call her Kathy (fake name), who got married last weekend. For some background, two years ago I inherited a cabin in the mountains from my maternal grandmother after she died. This is not the grandmother Kathy and I share. It's in a peak mountain town with lots of activities around.

For the first year, I lived in it, fixing it up to eventually now rent as an Airbnb. During that time, Kathy would visit periodically and stay with me. Once I moved out and placed it on Airbnb, she would continue to ask for a week or so to stay in the cabin when it wasn't peak season.

She loved it so much. She asked if she could use it as her honeymoon location. I told her yes and blocked out the dates on Airbnb for her honeymoon, which would have been this week. I told her congratulations and that I'd stockpile the Airbnb with a bunch of romantic stuff (candles, rose petals, etc.) as her wedding gift. She was so excited. That was back in May.

However, three months ago, I got a call from my aunt. Apparently, my whole family and I weren't invited to the wedding. We were shocked as we had assumed we'd be coming. My aunt told us that my cousin said, "She doesn't know us well," and that "we weren't there for her childhood." We do live in different states. We didn't hear from my aunt or cousin again.

Instead for the weekend of Halloween, my family and I changed our plane tickets (they weren't refundable) and skipped a major snowstorm in our hometown to live it up in Florida for the week.

This is where I may have been an a-hole. For a while, I considered just leaving everything alone. But as of Nov. 1st, ski season starts and it would be a big week. Honestly, I needed the money.

So a week after I was told I wasn't invited, I decided to text Kathy that I was going to remove her reservation from my Airbnb unless she wanted to pay for the dates. I never got a response.

No, she didn't block me. I can see the text went through. I texted her one more time about two months ago before putting my Airbnb back online for that week. No response. It booked up within 24 hours.

The day after her wedding, she texted me and asked me when she could expect the cabin to be ready. I texted her back that I told her months prior that I was going to rent it out to someone else unless she paid. It's already booked and unavailable.

To say she was mad is an understatement. She cried and called me an a-hole. “This was supposed to be my wedding gift to her,” she yelled. I told her that only invited guests are supposed to give gifts and that strangers always have to pay to use my Airbnb.

Now she is calling out my family as a-holes for being upset about not having an invite. She's using her excuse that we weren't there during her childhood and that she deserves to use the cabin. My immediate family thinks I did nothing wrong, but the rest of my family said I should give in. I agree it was a petty move, but AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

Psychological-Bit430

NTA. Petty move? Yes, but she deserved it. It wasn't like you didn't tell her before hand.

rapt2right

Uhm.... She knows you well enough that she was a regular houseguest at your cabin & for her to feel comfortable with you providing a fairly extravagant wedding gift but not close enough to merit a wedding invitation? Interesting metric she's using. NTA.

Anxious_Plan5591

NTA. Not invited to the wedding = no wedding gift, that's just how it is. Besides that she had plenty of time to arrange payment for the cabin. Further she sounds like she's throwing a tantrum and being entitled, it's her issue not yours.

Future_Direction5174

NTA. She FAFO. She chose not to invite you to her wedding and STILL expected an expensive gift (a free honeymoon). You had even texted her to ask if she still wanted it, and she ignored you.

Trevena_Ice

NTA. You were not close, she said so. She was only close to you because of the cabine. And she wasn't able to talk about this like adults (like 'sorry, but I have to make cuts because of the price and I don't want to upset anyone by only inviting you from your family half - or something like that)

If she had called herself, you could have discussed it. So you let her know in advance that she can't have the cabine and she still thaught you would give in. NTA.

In the comments someone posted a link to the origin story of the this beef:

I (27F) have a cousin (27F) that is getting married soon. Last year she finally got engaged after 10 years of dating

My sister (30F) and I were invited to go with my cousin to pick out wedding dresses. She said it was important that we were there. It was also the weekend of her bachelorette. My sister and I live in a different state so we booked tickets and had a great time. While talking about the wedding, we asked my cousin for the date as we wanted to get plane tickets early. She gave us the date and said, "see you soon”

Months later my aunt (55F) told my dad (61M) (her brother) that my family and I were not invited to the wedding as they had run out of capacity for the venue

I had come to visit my parents that morning as we go on weekend hikes. I heard the whole thing. My dad and mom were pretty upset. They had booked tickets and were told prior that they should be expecting an invite. We were very disappointed but we originally understood that it was going to be a small wedding and maybe it was smaller than we realized.

My mom, though, had been through wedding drama before she asked. "how much is capacity?” My aunt said, “oh they are having 130 people.” We were in shock. That’s when my dad asked, “why wouldn’t we be in the top 130?” My aunt, ever the honest one, said my cousin “doesn’t really know us.”

Like we didn't just go pick out wedding dresses and help pay for a bachelorette! My family has gone back and forth from their home since we were kids, which was never reciprocated. We've sent birthday gifts to her, etc

My dad ended the call. I could see how hurt he was. My dad puts a lot of effort into keeping his family together as he is the oldest child, both parents are gone, and he moved away when he and my mom got married. I could tell that this was a slap in the face. His family doesn’t reciprocate. As a comparison, they were even invited to my older sister's wedding too. They didn't come

Fast forward, my parents refuse to answer my aunt’s calls. My aunt calls me instead. She says she has convinced my cousin to allow us at the wedding. I told her, “Thanks but no thanks. We won't be coming to the wedding."

My aunt told me I was an ass. She worked hard to get us into the wedding. She tattle-told my parents what I had said. But my parents assured me that they would have declined the invite too as they believe it would be awkward to attend now

Days later, another call, it was my cousin telling me that my aunt was crying. She said I should apologize and be grateful that I was now invited. She had to disinvite others. I snapped saying that it was her fault for not inviting us and putting our families in this situation

My parents have gone no contact with my aunt for now. I've thought about apologizing but I also want them to feel bad too. AITA for declining the wedding invite?

Now that you've got the whole story, what do you think?

Sources: Reddit,Reddit
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