Husband shocked to learn wife had plastic surgery and never told him; now it may affect their child. AITA?
"AITA for calling my wife a liar for getting plastic surgery and never telling me?"
Honest_Boysenberry40
My wife and I have been married for 3 years, together for 3 before that. She’s about 14 weeks pregnant. The baby was planned, we’re both very happy about it, life is perfect.
She wanted to share the news with her family in person. Her family doesn’t live close to us. She talks to them all the time but we rarely see them. I’ve never had that awkward, cliche experience of her mom sitting down and showing me the embarrassing photos of her when she was younger.
So a week ago her parents came out here to visit and I thougt this was going to be the perfect time to announce the news. She told them, everyone was excited, things were great.
Later that same day, it was just the two of us and her mom. Her mom started asking her about all of those things women talk about when a baby is coming, and one of those things was whether or not my wife plans to breastfeed.
I already know the answer, she’s planning to breastfeed. When she told her mom she was, her mom said “Can you breastfeed even with the implants? How does it work?” My head whipped around so fast. What implants?
This was the first time I had heard about any implants. My wife’s face said it all, eyes wide and silently shouting at her mom to be quiet.
I’m a completely monogamous person now, a totally faithful man, but prior to marriage I had touched my fair share of breasts and I’ve always been able to spot the fakes. My own wife has fake boobs and I didn’t know?
I’m telling you that they’re very nice, amazing even, but they don’t look or feel fake whatsoever. They’re a pretty normal size (very full C), feel soft and “natural” to the touch, aren’t unusually perky. I mean she was 20 when we met so perky was to be expected to some extent.
I wasn’t going to let it go. As soon as we were alone I asked her about it. She admitted that yes she got implants when she was 18 because she was so flat and had no confidence because of it.
It’s not something she wants people to know about. Ok, but I’m not just somebody. I asked her if she’s had other work done, but wasn’t expected her to say anything else.
She told me she had a nose job too and her Cupid’s bow reshaped. I’ve seen pictures of her as a kid and a pre-teen but I never realized that I don’t think I’ve ever seen photos of her from before the age of 12-years-old (she got the nose job at 17). She refuses to show me any pictures of what she looked like before these things.
I called her a liar. She lied to me. She pretended that everything about her, except her hair color, was all natural. She’s hurt that I called her a liar. AITA for calling my wife a liar for not divulging that she’s had plastic surgery?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
stannenb
Why do I have the feeling that, mostly, you're angry that your breast-implant-detection skills failed you? She's still the same woman you met, married, and, presumably, had been intimate with. YTA.
Raindripdrop
What an extremely shallow and weird hill to die on. You are entitled to feel your feelings, but this is something you gently bring up through "I'm curious why you didn't feel like you were able to share this with me" at a time when you're both calm. Not something to blame and shame a pregnant woman about. YTA - look into therapy to better communicate your feelings.
Raindripdrop
What an extremely shallow and weird hill to die on. You are entitled to feel your feelings, but this is something you gently bring up through "I'm curious why you didn't feel like you were able to share this with me" at a time when you're both calm. Not something to blame and shame a pregnant woman about. YTA - look into therapy to better communicate your feelings.
Curious_Puffin
Better get those divorce papers ready in case she wore braces on her teeth. YTA
ChinaShopBully
YTA. Chances are, you promised her in your wedding that you would love and honor her all the days of your life. Looks like you're a liar.