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Man 'couldn't resist' spending partner's dream vacation fund on limited edition sneakers. AITA?

Man 'couldn't resist' spending partner's dream vacation fund on limited edition sneakers. AITA?


"TIFU by secretly spending the money that my partner saved for us."


Yesterday, I messed up big time and now I'm in a dilemma. So, my partner and I have been saving up for a trip to Japan for what feels like ages now. We had this whole jar where we put in our spare change and whatever extra cash we could save.

It was our dream trip, you know? Well, turns out, I kinda sorta dipped into that jar without telling them. Yeah, I know, major face palm moment. See, I've been eyeing this limited edition sneaker for weeks now.

And when I finally saw it online, my impulse control just flew out the window. I thought, "Hey, I'll just borrow a bit from the jar, buy the sneaker, and put the money back before they even notice."

Smooth plan, right? Wrong. Fast forward to today, and I still haven't managed to replace the money. My partner was looking for some cash for groceries and stumbled upon the empty jar. Cue the awkward conversation where I had to come clean about my sneaker splurge. Let's just say they were not amused.

Now, not only do I feel like the world's worst partner, but I also feel guilty as heck. I mean, we had plans, dreams, and this stupid impulse buy just ruined everything.

The disappointment in their eyes was like a punch to the gut. I've been trying to make it up to them all day. I offered to sell the sneakers and put the money back, but they're still pretty upset.

Understandably so. Trust is a fragile thing, and I feel like I just shattered it into a million pieces. So here I am, seeking advice on how to make things right. How do I regain their trust?

How do I show them that I'm truly sorry and that I value our dreams together more than some material possession? Any similar experiences or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated right about now. Thanks for listening to my rant, y'all.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:


I will never understand people that crave limited edition shoes.


You don't understand! This pair of Jordan 1s is a slightly different colour to that pair of Jordan 1s.


Honestly, as your partner I'd be less concerned about the trip (which alone would be hurtful), and more concerned with your poor impulse control and money management. You took money from the 'joint account' for an unnecessary purchase without asking, If I were her personally I'd feel like you stole from me.

It would make me rethink ever marrying you. Once you're married your debts become hers and you just showed that you'd drain the bank account without asking over some stupid ass shit because you can't control yourself.

Put the money back, entirely. Down to the penny. ASAP. Do not buy yourself a single luxury until then. If you're out buying yourself stuff instead of putting that money back every purchase you make you're saying "this is more important than paying you back".

If that's groceries or whatnot than that's understandable, if it's another pair of sneakers than that says it all. Never do anything like this again. Ever. And even then it'd be understandable if she no longer trusted you or your judgement and ended things.


If you can't afford the sneakers without dipping into savings, you didn't need the sneakers. Return them, sell them etc. This is entirely on you OP, not sure what you thought you'd achieve on Reddit by telling the internet. Were you hoping we'd say "nah, tell your partner Japan is overrated, it's all about your sweet new sneakers!"???


You "offered?" Thieves don't get to "offer" to return, it's a moral imperative. I think you know full well that if you really cared about your partner you would have returned them already.

You need to stop buying things like this, it's harming your everyday life and it brings you nothing. You know this. But you don't actually want to change because you haven't returned it already. Even if you do so you've put a big scar on your relationship. You stole and you know it.

If you can't return it, you better be on your knees eating beans and rice and forgoing all your discretionary spending (ie no games, no eating out, no netflix, no spotify, etc.) until you pay back what you stole. But most importantly sell the shoes anyway because you better be clear that your partner matters more to you than a pair of shoes.

Stealing to feed an impulse is seriously bad behaviour. You need to have serious introspection about where you are and where you're going if you're going to burn down your own life to buy some frivolous purchase. Beware that this kind of impulse spending is a great way to stay poor forever. You can't afford this shit if buying it affects your life. Find other fulfillment in life.


You are the world’s worst partner.. nice little breach of trust there. Sell the shoes as every time they see them it will bring back a memory. Put the money back and then some. Don’t really care if you have to work overtime to make it happen.


So you’re just really low on redeeming qualities. You will now be phased out. Remember it is better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all. You got the best of that scam. What’s up next?


It's honestly too late and the damage is done. You are just gonna have to prove you are trustworthy by being trustworthy and hope they someday decide to trust you again. I know this would set off huge red flags for me about if I want my financial wellbeing attached to your impulses.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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