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Pregnant GF refuses to live with BF's sister, 'your relationship isn't normal.' + Update

Pregnant GF refuses to live with BF's sister, 'your relationship isn't normal.' + Update

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"AITA for telling my boyfriend that if his sister moves in then i’m moving out?"

mrsholden11

My boyfriend(who we’ll call John for privacy reasons) and I have been together for a year and have lived together for around the past 5 months. Both of our names are on the lease and we split the rent and bills all equally.

Ever since we’ve got together his older sister(Amy, also fake name) has always had a problem with me for some reason. I’ve always gotten the feeling that her love for him has gone deeper than a brother-sister love by the way she acts towards him and by some of things John has told me about her.

Now here comes the problem. Around 2 months ago, Amy found out that she was going to be kicked out of her apartment. She hasn’t tried to look for anywhere else to live and has just been acting like it’s not happening.

Yesterday, John had went over to help her move some of her stuff into storage and when he got home that night he brought up to me that their mother had suggested that could Amy move in with us. I told him that I’m not comfortable with that due to our history and her overall attitude towards me.

John got upset with me over it, saying she’s family and we need to help her out but before me and John moved in together. He had gotten suddenly evicted from his apartment as well, and only got a 10 day notice before he had to move out.

We both had to drain all of our savings and move in together so he wouldn’t become homeless. During this time, Amy offered no help towards him when she knew the whole situation that was going on. I ended up telling John that if, she moves in, then I’m moving out and we’ve been fighting about it ever since.

Now, before people start calling me heartless for not wanting to help Amy, we’re not her only option. Her mother-in-law offered her a room to stay in until she could find an apartment, which she declined. Plus, John and Amy’s mother has a 2 bedroom apartment, just like us, that she could stay in(she has all adult children, only their mother and step father live there.) Which I don’t know why she didn’t offer to her.

Amy’s husband is currently in prison and isn’t getting out any time soon. They have 2 children who are going to be staying with her MIL so I don’t know why she wouldn’t take her spare room there so she could be close to her kids. The reason John was evicted from his last apartment was because of “criminal activity” for charges that were later dropped.

He had the opportunity to appeal the decision and present the papers that stated that the charges had been dropped but all the court costs were gonna add up than more it would cost to just move. Now his sister on the other hand was evicted because she was several months behind on her rent.

I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with his child and have made it crystal clear that our second bedroom is for our child, and that I'm not willing to give up my sons room for Amy.

Another important thing is me and John live an hour away from where Amy works and had previously resided, while Amy’s mother and MIL live in the same city. So, we’re not exactly the most practical choice for her to stay with either.

I don’t have much of an update right now but me and John were able to have calm discussion about it and I reiterated my feelings and stood by my ultimatum. He said he understood how I felt and that he had gotten so upset over it because his mother had been putting a lot of pressure on him over it and had been for a while.

He said he only recently brought it up because it’s not something he really wants to happen and knew that it wasn’t something that I would want but asked anyway out of fear that his mother would try to cause problems over it.

We agreed that her moving in isn’t a good idea and that it wouldn’t be happening. I don’t know where she’s planning to stay now but I'm just glad that pressure is off of me now. Thank you to everyone for the advice. I'm trying to read all of it and I hope this makes everything more clear. So AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

Next-Honeydew4130

Nta. You would be NTA if you and she were on the best of terms. Since you asked for advice, I’ll add that moving out is EXACTLY what you should do if she moves in. Don’t even bluff about it. Pack up and leave and stop paying rent. Let them sue you if they want, but I don’t think they will.

They will figure out how to not be homeless by keeping up with rent. Refusing to live with your boyfriend's sister is just such a clearly reasonable boundary I don’t understand why you would even bother fighting over it. Either she moves in and you move out or you stay and she lives somewhere else (people do figure these things out for themselves if you just force them to, really!)

NotSoNice_Needlework

She needs to take herself off the lease. The fact that both brother and sister have both been evicted means they will get evicted from this apartment as well and trust me you don't want that on your record. My ex got evicted and I only found out years later when I needed to rent a place when I moved states. I had to pay it all off just to be able to rent a place.

_A-Q

NTA- you should just get your own place. Your boyfriend has already chosen his sister over you since he’s angry at your ultimatum. Even when he knows she doesn’t like you he’s willing to have you uncomfortable in your own home to please his family. 🚩

There’s no saving the relationship at this point, because even if she doesn’t move in , your boyfriend and his mom are gonna be bitter about it. He just showed you that his mom and sister are going to be the ones running the show if you stay with him in the long run.

fallingintopolkadots

NTA. Why live with not one but two people who have managed to get evicted, especially when the sister is not great to you, and that would only create an unpleasant living environment for you. Amy has other places she can pick to live.

Lost-Moskito

Sorry it's 3:16 a.m. at my place and I'm too tired and lazy to elaborate but still wanted you to know that you're clearly NTA.

vongdong

NTA. Their mother is kinda an a-hole for suggesting that when she has a room available...

So, do you think the OP is overreacting or is her boyfriend's sister up to something?

Sources: Reddit
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