'AITA for telling my late dad's affair partner I owe her nothing?'
"AITA for telling my late dad's affair partner I owe her nothing?"
Maximum-Desk-2618
My dad cheated on my mom for years and we only found this out a couple of years ago when his affair partner turned up to our house pregnant with dad's baby. Mom kicked him out and filed for divorce and he went to stay with his parents. I (19m) was disgusted by him so I didn't speak to him again.
While he was still with his parents, he died. He had a heart attack in his sleep and he did have a history of heart issues, so it was no real surprise. Mom was still married to him, so she got most stuff. But he did leave me things as well.
A couple of months ago his affair partner reached out and said she had a daughter and her daughter deserved to know her family. I told my dad's parents and siblings about her and passed the info on.
I also found a folder dad had with stuff on his medical conditions and sent them over for her daughter. Everything else of his was at my grandparents' house, so I had nothing more to send. I told her I sent what I had and that would be it.
Dad's affair partner said she wanted me to meet her daughter and be her brother. She told me that we share blood and that means something and I could make all the difference in her little girl's life. I told her blood doesn't mean something to me and I had no interest in forming a relationship but I hope she was able to get more information to share with her daughter.
I blocked her on Facebook days later because she repeatedly sent me DMs requesting I meet her kid. Then she found my account on another platform and, because I don't check it that often, I ended up with a bunch of messages from her there.
She started off saying how her daughter deserved family and I could provide her with a connection to her dad. She told me we're family whether I like it or not and I should be grateful to have a sibling.
She said dad told her I used to wish for siblings and how mom's infertility after me was the reason they had no more kids. She told me all these things about her daughter and how much it would make a little girl's world to have a brother to love her.
Then she told me she got nothing from dad and she deserves support and how I owe her as the closest male relative my dad had. She said I should be stepping up to make sure they're okay and taken care of and how she (the affair partner) deserves better.
I blocked her there too and then she showed up at my place of work to confront her which is when I told her I owe her nothing. I said she's nothing but a nasty affair partner who can't accept nobody wants her around.
I said she can't say she didn't know either because she admitted dad told her all about me wanting siblings and mom not being able to have more. I said people who knowingly cheats with married people don't deserve anything from the family the affair destroyed.
She told me she is the mother of my sibling and I should be willing to at least be respectful so my half sister can have a good life, etc. This was all said as she was being removed. Luckily my boss was understanding. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
IamIrene
"Then she told me she got nothing from dad and she deserves support and how I owe her as the closest male relative my dad had."
And there it is. The actual reason she wants into your life.
You are NTA and if you choose to have a relationship with your half sister at some point, that is between you and your half sister. It doesn't come with any strings attached. You owe this woman exactly nothing. You are taking care of your mother, that is where your familial obligation lies, not with "the other woman". She made her choices and now she is reaping those rewards.
"then she showed up at my place of work"
You may need a restraining order. I mean this seriously. She is so bent on getting money from you that she shows up at your work? That's harassment and intimidation.
Please take screenshots of ALL messages she has sent you and keep them on a thumb drive as evidence of her harassment. Also write a timeline of every time she has physically contacted you (phone, in person) and what was said. You may very well need it.
The OP responded here:
Maximum-Desk-2618
I have screenshots of the messages and I also kept them all. I also have an incident report from her showing up at work. They always make one when someone gets kicked out of the shop in case it because a bigger problem and they need to involve the police.
Aggressive-Bed3269
NTA - This is harassment and I would absolutely involve the authorities, immediately. Get a restraining order.
"Then she told me she got nothing from dad and she deserves support and how I owe her as the closest male relative my dad had."
This is just a trash bag, bottom feeding toilet who wants money out of you, and somehow she's decided its okay to harass the son of her late affair-partner/baby daddy. Wild. You really do actually owe her or her child(ren) precisely NOTHING. Get the authorities involved.
The OP again responded:
Maximum-Desk-2618
I don't think I would have enough yet but I am keeping proof of all this if/when it continues.
AnakinSkywalkerisfav
NTA, you were far kinder than you had to be. You informed your siblings about her, and you sent her a file of your dad's medical history, and you even told her, "I sent what I had and that would be it." You have no obligation to "step up and take care of her," and she went to your place of work to confront you after you blocked her. Good on you for calling her out.