Relationship fumbles when BF wins Super Bowl tickets, doesn't invite GF. + Update
"I [25m] won 2 tickets to the Super Bowl. My girlfriend [25f] is very upset that I'm taking my brother [31m] and not her."
superbowlthrowaway1
A couple days ago I won a trivia contest that gave me and all expense paid trip for 2 to the Super Bowl. As you could imagine I was so excited, but it's gotten to the point where I wish there was a way I could sell the package and forget about it.
My brother and I were together and decided to try for tickets from this local contest. I was the official contestant but I actually ended up getting the answer I needed from my brother. From that point, I never even thought about who to take. Since it was something we both did and he ended up actually giving me the answer, of course he was gonna go.
I excitedly told my girlfriend who didn't even know I was trying that I won tickets and I was going with my brother. She then got very upset that I am not taking her. For the record, she is a football fan so it's clear she would love to go.
But my brother gave me the answer, how could he not go? My brother said he would understand if I take her and sees the problem that this is causing for me and offered his ticket to her.
I didn't even tell her that he made this offer because I don't think that's the point. I think she's being selfish and putting a damper on the entire experience. I told her all this but she is not backing down and said that if you win a trip for 2, it should "automatically" go to your significant other.
Maybe that's true if it were on romantic getaway or cruise, but this is something my brother and I did together and he's the reason I won. I think she is being selfish and she thinks I am being inconsiderate of her. I don't know who is right or what to do.
I wish I never won these tickets because no matter what happens the entire experience has been marred. I thought of giving the tickets to my brother and his wife and just forgetting about the whole thing but because I won the tickets under my name it has to be me. How should I handle this?
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's initial post:
prettydirtmurder
You didn't win the tickets, you and your brother won the tickets. The other ticket is his, not yours to do with. Tell her that.
The OP responded here:
superbowlthrowaway1
I wish I had said this when I told her but I didn't think it would be an issue. I don't think I could reframe it at this point without her seeing through it. She already knows the story.
-purple-is-a-fruit-
What's there to "see through", give her the play by play. This was pertinent information from the beginning. Being thorough means she gets all the information and gets to a well informed analysis of the situation. Knowledge is power.
The OP again responded here:
superbowlthrowaway1
She knew from the start my brother gave me the answer.
She knows we did it together. She knows I already invited my brother.
She also knows that the tickets are under my name and that I could theoretically choose someone else which is the window she needed to make a fuss about how it should be her. I don't think I could reason with someone who said "if you're brother wanted to go he should have won them himself."
thisishowiinternet
Take your brother, he helped you win.
As for your girlfriend, if she can't see that he helped you two win the tickets, her loss.
AurelianoTampa
I agree with your side - you and your brother both tried for the tickets together, and he gave you the right answer. It's not a "couples" prize. It should be you and your brother. That said, there's no "right" or "wrong" here that will make your girlfriend change her mind.
It's an issue you have to work out together, and there may not be a good resolution. My advice would be to plan a trip for you and your girlfriend as well, at some other point, but not to derail your Super Bowl plans.
Just over a week later, the OP returned with an update.
"Update: I [25m] won 2 tickets to the Super Bowl. My girlfriend [25f] is very upset that I'm taking my brother [31m] and not her."
superbowlthrowaway1
Thanks everyone for the advice. It was very helpful. This was a very stressful and long few days. I'm just glad there seems to be a resolution. I had tried talking to my girlfriend and she was still clearly upset.
I approached the conversation as many people said keeping an understanding that she was more disappointed than controlling and would come around. Unfortunately she was being unreasonable. She said "I could go" but that doing so would hurt her a great deal and that she would need some time to reevaluate things.
I should have just ended things with her there but I was so sick of these tickets by this point that I didn't even have the heart to go, even if I did decide to end things with her. As suggested by some of the comments here, I called up the radio station and asked if it was at all possible to transfer the tickets to my brother so he could go with his wife.
They were totally understanding and awesome about it and said they were sorry I couldn't go but they were glad to put the tickets in my brothers name for me. I was just glad to have it behind me at that point.
I told my girlfriend what I did and that I was staying here and she said that I was "being dramatic" and "immature." She said that I transferred the tickets to my brother just so I could "win" the argument and look like a martyr.
It was at this point I reached my breaking point. I calmly told her this relationship was over. I wasn't even mad at this point just confused that a person I thought I knew could act this way. She said she was gonna break up with me because of the way I handled this anyway so breaking up with her "didn't matter."
My brother immediately told me I dodged a bullet and that he was glad that she was out of everyone's lives. My brother's wife was totally cool about me using her ticket and didn't even question it even after I'm technically taking back my gift to her.
They insisted that I go with my brother and it was their idea. So now I'm the guest of my original tickets that I won. Happy to say I arrived in SF a few days ago and am having the time of my life. My girlfriend didn't unfollow me on social media and I'm posting as many pictures as I possibly can. Thanks everyone!
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's update:
JHuggz
This sounds like she is in middle school. Don't put up with her games and go to the Superbowl with your brother and have a dam good time.
Im_not_creepy3
The ex girlfriend was so obviously immature but it became even more blatant when she pulled the "well I was gonna break up with you anyways!" crap. Glad OP had a great time with his brother!
CharlotteLucasOP
She totally thought she could sneak in a vague threat that she’d be “reevaluating” their relationship if he went without her but he called her bluff and was like “I reevaluated too, this isn’t working for me.”
GF: [shocked pikachu]
peter095837
"My girlfriend didn't unfollow me on social media and I'm posting as many pictures as I possibly can."
Oh that's some sweet revenge there lol. Side note, what a immature person the ex-girlfriend. Like damn girl, can't even let your own boyfriend spend time with his own brother and you acting like a middle schooler? Oof.
liontamer74
I can understand the GF being disappointed, if she's a football fan, but to ignore the fact that it was OP AND his brother who won the tickets is deeply selfish.
NiaNeuman
A great preview of what it would be like if he won the lottery, got an inheritance, etc. What a wonderfully low stakes way to rid yourself of a selfish, grasping partner.