When he threatened to throw our 3months (was born 2.5months early) twins into the wall because 'he didn't sign up for this'
I had a chapter for a book due to an editor. I was 1-month postpartum and was supposed to have Sunday to write it. He had worked Monday through Saturday and was supposed to be off Sunday to take the baby. He would be working again Monday, and I was leaving town for a wedding on Thursday, so it was my last chance to get the chapter done for weeks.
Sunday after church he starts getting ready to leave. I ask what he's doing and remind him I need to finish my chapter. He says he has to go into work 'for an hour' and he'll be right back.
He was gone the rest of the day. The baby was awake and fussing the entire time. I got nothing done. When he got home, his lame excuse? 'I started making calls at the office and lost track of time.'
He later admitted he did not lose track of time, he just didn't think me having time to myself was that important. I believe he was with another woman.
When I left for the wedding on Thursday, I left behind a letter asking for a divorce.
I ate a cookie. He is vegan; I’m not. He said he didn’t care what other people chose to do, but for him, it was important. I respected that; I tried some vegan food and didn’t hate it. I liked most of it. Whenever we went out, it was a vegan-friendly place. Fast forward six weeks into our dating. He comes over.
My sister/roommate makes cookies using Nestle pre-made cookie dough, the kind you just put in the oven. He comes in. The 3 of us are talking, and I take a cookie off the baking sheet and eat it. He explodes, talking about how dare I eat that in front of him, animal cruelty, etc. I was shaking, my sister was shaking, and I just kept eating the cookie. This was the last straw because he broke things off right there. He left, and my sister and I just kept eating the cookies.
When a friend sent me a link to an ad, my then-boyfriend had put on the internet, advertising us as a couple looking for another couple or man to join us in bed. I did not have any prior knowledge of this ad, nor did he have permission to include a photo of me in the ad.
He gave me the silent treatment for two months straight. He didn’t break up with me. He stopped answering my texts after I did something minuscule he didn’t like. It was during the lockdown.
Should have left him years before, but that finally gave me the strength to leave him. I realized I could live without him, even though that was a miserable lesson.
When he became suspicious, I might be trying to leave him (I was). But I was making nice until I sorted things out, so he wouldn’t be suspicious. I think he may have found an apartment guide in my work bag. So one night, he stealthed a condom off during sex or faked putting it on in the first place; not sure.
We were using condoms bc I was switching birth control, and there was a “gap.” When it became apparent immediately post-sex what he’d done, he stood at the end of the bed and laughed, “Now you can’t leave, stupid b—-.”
Abortion. Divorce. I never spoke to him again. That was in 1994.
When he touched me I cringed in disgust, like I was crawling in my own skin.
My ex wouldn’t cook. And if I didn’t cook, he wouldn’t eat. He would starve like some helpless baby bird waiting for its mother to feed it. I went through weeks of no cooking to finally press him to feed himself. When we finally ran out of snacks to graze (because - shocker - I also bought all the groceries), he finally got around to cooking.
He made soup and a panini - and only made it for himself. It didn’t even occur to him to cook for both of us as I had done for seven years—just a clueless, helpless person who couldn’t see past his wants and needs.
After complaining about the same thing, he kept doing it even though he said he understood how I felt, that he would do better, and never did. I ended up telling him it would be best that we break up. I offered friendship because we were friends before we started dating, and he kept pressing for another way for us to fix the relationship.
I explained that I had already cried about the problems, which never got fixed. He switched up on me when he realized that I had already made up my mind and turned the whole relationship down on my illness (I was really sick at the time), which basically made me aware of how this dude doesn't care about me and my well-being. I stood up and left mid-conversation and never spoke to him again.
The last straw should have been months ago when he wanted to stop telling me he loved me. Or when he quit all contact with me for 3 days without telling me. We did long distance which wasn’t even that far, he was like 20 minutes away from me so calling for a few minutes before bed was important for me. Or when he would make me so anxious I had to throw up almost constantly.
Also, when he admitted that I was most likely not the person he was going to end up with for the rest of his life. The last straw was when he wore a ring I had never seen before. I never found out where it came from. But I knew it was over. He broke up with me the following week. It should’ve been me. I put up with 8 months of absolute BS from this dude. It still hurts after 3 years.
I sent him a long-winded message listing my 'demands' for our relationship to continue, things such as feeling respected and like he even cared were listed to give you some idea of what I'm talking about.
His response? I got it, I'll read it later and get back to you.
Spoiler: he never did.
He dumped ME over it, but it was my last straw technically- he liked pictures on Instagram of his “friend,” but only the ones where she was in bikinis or lingerie and posing sexually. We were in a long-distance relationship, and he knew I was already feeling left out because he had gone to many events with her.
I couldn’t go to them, but I had to see the photos afterward of them being “friends” He started a relationship with her within a week of dumping me, after gas lighting me to hell about it and calling me crazy jealous and paranoid, etc.
I felt like the mother and not the girlfriend.
I realized he thought he didn't have to put in any effort anymore. That 'well, I've got her, so I can stop trying' mentality. When I met him, he could have me in tears laughing and was a lot nicer, saying he had liked me pretty much as long as he'd known me (which was a few years at that point).
As soon as we started dating, most of it became screeching hault. He wouldn't even go on a date with me (I tried initiating dates, suggesting different ideas and places to go, and offering to pay), but he was only interested in hanging out in his mom's basement (no, we were not teenagers, we had vehicles at our disposal and jobs to pay for dates).
I stopped initiating our conversations, and there was radio silence for two weeks, despite living on the same street. I met him to ask how he felt about that, and he just shrugged. I broke up with him that day because I'd had better conversations with a rock. This was on top of the fact I found out he was in debt up to his eyeballs because of a gambling problem he didn't tell me about.
I accepted all the yelling and getting angry for no reason at all. I always ensured he was feeling okay afterward and what I could do to make him feel loved. Whenever I tried to share how I felt while talking about a problem, he made it all about himself. He told me he wasn’t good enough for me and couldn’t do anything right.
But the last straw for me was some stupid fight via messages a week ago…basically just a simple misunderstanding. I said sorry for something I shouldn’t even be sorry for in the first place, and he ignored me. He missed my messages, trying to find out if he was ok and if we were ok… just responded with, “I’m going to sleep; you’re just looking for a fight.”
He never showed up for me in the entire relationship; it was always about him. It hurts like hell, but I’m better off without him.
I had to drive him to work. I went to the wrong side of the parking lot driveway to go around a pothole while a car was coming at me - at a very safe distance. He lost it, berated me, and called me the stupidest driver he'd ever seen. I saw my mom three days later and broke down and asked for help to get out.