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Wife cheats, then sends her parents to explain the glories of open relationships.

Wife cheats, then sends her parents to explain the glories of open relationships.

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On Reddit's 'Cheating Stories' community, a place where people talk about infidelities as a means for advice, for venting, and for discussion, a husband needs some help dealing with his wife and in-laws. Recently, he was blindsided when he learned that open-relationships run in his wife's family. He writes:

'In-Laws Trying To Convince Me To Accept Wife's Infidelity...Need Help'

Hey there, I need to spill some things out and ask for advice because I'm really losing it. And before I start, yes, the title is as bizarre as it sounds.

My wife (28F) and I (30M) have been happily married for three years. I thought we were perfectly fine and in love, but a few days ago, she dropped a bombshell on me. She confessed to having an affair, saying she still loves me but wants us to be in an open relationship. I was shattered and asked her to leave so I could process this.

Fast forward to this morning, I got a visit from her parents, my in-laws. I've always had a good relationship with them and hoped they would back me up and help convince my wife that this wasn't fair to our marriage. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

Her dad, a man I've always respected, started the conversation. He confessed to me that their marriage had been saved by agreeing to the same terms my wife was suggesting.

They had entered into an open relationship years ago, and he said it had actually made their bond stronger. He told me that he wanted the same for us and that accepting this would be a sign of love and maturity.

I was dumbfounded, still trying to process this when her mother chimed in. And her words... they were just... brutal. She outright told me that I wasn't satisfying her daughter's needs and that I was inadequate. She said I was being selfish and unloving by refusing to accept the new arrangement.

Guys, I felt emasculated, betrayed, and confused. This isn't what I signed up for when I said, 'I do.'

I love my wife, but I can't just blindly accept infidelity. This isn't a lifestyle that I want, and it feels like an unfair and sudden burden that's been thrust upon me. I feel like my world has been turned upside down, and I'm being asked to celebrate it as if it's some great epiphany.

Please, Reddit, any advice would be much appreciated. How do I handle this situation? Do I agree to try this open relationship to save my marriage, or should I stick to my guns and risk the possibility of ending my marriage? Or is there any other way to resolve this issue?

TL;DR: Wife cheated and wants open relationship. In-laws support her and even encourage me to accept it. Mother-in-law outright says I'm inadequate. I'm confused, hurt, and don't know what to do. Please, advice needed.

Here's how the discussion in the comments broke down.

monkiye puts it all together:

How do you handle it? She cheated, you contact a lawyer first thing and do everything you can to get evidence, audio recordings discussing the affair if possible. If you are in an 'at fault' state this helps make sure you don't taken to the cleaners if you're in the U.S.

Open relationships post cheating and being forced on the other party ALWAYS end in dragging out the inevitable destruction of the marriage. This relationship is done, I'm sorry, but it's done.

She disrespected you and your marriage and has demonstrated that you don't mean nearly as much to her as she does to you. This person you have now, is not your wife any longer, this is someone else. That person you fell in love with and married, no longer exists.

A take on the parents, from whiterac00n:

Also OP her parents can go kick rocks. The last thing I would tolerate is third party people telling me what I should be feeling or setting the terms of what I want in a relationship. OP just walk away.

The level of toxicity is going to be too much with her parents justifying everything she has done. Don’t bother with closure because you’re not going to get it, but what you will get is a ridiculous amount of gaslighting. Cut all contact and start thinking about how you can heal.

A sage idiom from Ok-Pomegranate8752:

Where I live we have a popular saying that translating into English is similar to the following:

It appears the Apple has not fallen far from the tree.

Don't accept this OP and protect yourself from this 'people' and expose them to all.

Good luck OP and wish you a good life.

From 2centsworth4u:

Your MIL had the AUDACITY to say her daughters ‘needs’ weren’t being met because you’re inadequate and to top it off called you SELFISH and unloving???? What about your needs? Especially your need of monogamy?

You might love her and respect the marriage vows, but she doesn’t and neither do your IL’s…

More support from irregularbastard:

Absolutely not. No self respecting man stays with a cheating woman or gets pushed into an open relationship. Her dad was weak and his daughter is just like her mother. Don’t be weak like him.

Go to a divorce attorney and discuss your options.

And domguyps5 puts a bow on it:

Just divorce her then

Good luck to OP.

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