When this woman is annoyed with her husband, she asks Reddit:
I have been with my husband for 17 years and we have 4 children together ages 11 to 15. For the last 15 years my biggest fights with him has been about his drinking and partying.
This past weekend i got fed up and told him to move out or atleast into the basement. Every weekend for the past around 6 months he will stay up all night playing MTG and drinking and won't come to bed until daylight.
About a month ago I expressed through text that I have a problem with this, there was no change after that. This past weekend his brother was over and again he was staying up all night drinking and playing MTG, around 3am he comes into the bedroom and tells me he is leaving to go over a friends house.
I pointed out that it was 3am and he had been drinking and he then tells me that he is leaving anyway. He did not return until 11am, he was gone for 8 hours. This is not the first time he has done this and we have had multiple fights about it in the past. I am tired of being angry and feel like he does not respect the way I feel.
When I asked him to move into the basement he was shocked and said he didn't understand as he has been very happy in our relationship and that he does not see anything wrong with what he is doing, that it is normal.
He makes me feel like I am over reacting but I don't think that I am and I do not think this is normal behavior. I do not know how to move forward with things continuing the way they are.
He has said he would stop drinking in the past but that only ever last a couple months at the most and then he goes back to drinking and partying so now I don't trust that he will ever stop. I love him when he is sober but I HATE drunk him. Now that I ask him to move, I don't know what to do next. AITA?
kuka73 writes:
NTA, you are married to an irresponsible alcoholic and asking him to move into the basement is giving him a full on permission to carry on. What does he do with the children, where are his parenting responsibilities and what kind of awful example is he setting for the children?
He is as happy a pig in muck since you are his servant and merrily enabling him to avoid his responsibilities.
infenegan writes:
NTA... or maybe you kind of are for not putting an end to that behavior. Your kids are growing up watching their alcoholic father make bad decisions on top of bad decisions and ignoring his drinking problem. But he is definitely TA for putting you in this situation.