Plot Twist: Woman's BFF supports husband's 'side chick' over her, blames her. + Updated
"I think my 'husband’s' mistress thinks he is richer than he actually is. My best friend thinks I am a d00sh because I am keeping silent"
Wrong_Essay_49
Husband in “” because we are not married legally. Please let me vent here!
He:39 Me:39 Mistress:29 Best friend:39
We have been together for 14 years. Living together for 11. He came and told me that he was in love about 3 weeks ago. I was surprised at the lack of fucks I had to give at receiving such information.
I did love him but maybe my love has always been conditional and its survival depends on it being reciprocated because it literally vanished the second he confessed to me that he was in love with another woman. He didn’t want a separation but to maybe open the relationship or let his feelings for her subside. I said it was over. It was like I never had feelings for him ever.
He was taken aback by my indifference which I thought: the audacity! Did he want me to be hurt and suffer? I told him that he should be relieved that he didn’t cause pain. Instead, he has been sulking since.
Last Friday I got home and mistress was there. Sitting in my kitchen sipping my tea. I felt nauseous because seriously? I told them that this wasn’t civil at all and to never be in my home again or I would call the cops.
I went to my room and I heard her yelling at him for not standing up for her. Then I heard her say something very curious: why haven’t you kicked her out yet. He was trying to tell her to lower her voice whispering: later! we can discuss this later!
She left and he came to me apologizing. He said: We didn’t have relations here if this is what you are scared of. She just dropped by because I was working from home today. I told him that he had until the end of March to move out and to find somewhere to be during the weekends.
This morning I changed all the locks. From now on he isn’t allowed in my place during my working hours so if he starts later or finishes earlier, we he needs to wait for me to come home and let him in.
But his mistress’s words stuck with me so during the weekend I have been stalking her social media. I think she thinks that he is rich. Or at least that he owns my apartment.
I think she also thinks that my parent’s summer house and boat are his. Unfortunately the loser has taken her there, probably bragging about his wealth because her hashtags were all about TheGoodLife.
I was telling my best friend all of this but she was more agitated than indignant on my behalf. She told me that he was a scum not telling mistress the truth. I agreed:IKR?! But then she said I was no better not explaining to her his situation either.
I was dumbfounded but she was serious. I told her that it wasn’t my job to bring back mistress to earth. My best friend got very angry and demanded that I gave her mistress’s username so that she could warn her. NO! I said. She called me: A bigger d00sh than he is then!
I don’t know what’s going on with these people. Have they gone mad or have I ? When did our moral compass go askew like this? Can someone tell me that I am not insane?
Here were the top rated comments from reader after the OP's initial post:
Disastrous_Ad_8561
Nope, not wrong. Get rid of him and wash your hands. Your bestie sounds delusional.
The OP responded here:
Wrong_Essay_49
Phew, because I thought something was wrong with me when she got upset.
Environmental_Art591
OP, she just demanded that your ex kick you out of your home so that she can move in. Do you really think someone like that deserves the kindness of a heads up, not to mention she has been drinking your exs coolaid for a while now and wouldn't believe anything you say anyway so why waste your time.
As for your "friend" they are either a current/former mistress, a gold digger, living in the land of sunshine, rainbows and unicorns, or were never really a friend to you in the first place.
Ixi7311
lol, you’re not responsible for his lies. Kick him out and leave it.
The OP again responded:
Wrong_Essay_49
He has until the end of march.
notthelizardgenitals
You also need better friends, WTF is wrong with you NOT giving the mistress a heads up?
To me, this is a clear case of FAFO.
mistressmemory
I have a feeling friend has been in mistresses shoes lol.
CTMom79
You do not owe the mistress any explanation at all. I think it will be funny when she finds out on her own. My guess is the reason your partner wanted to open the relationship is so that the mistress would continue to think that your family’s things were actually his.
He had some nerve having her over to your apartment, regardless if they had sex or not. That’s so disrespectful. Sorry for the trouble you’re going through but glad you were strong enough to dump his cheating self.
Sixteen days later, the OP returned with an update.
"I hade a showdown with my former best friend"
Wrong_Essay_49
I did it. I had a showdown with my former best friend via text and I confronted her about her nonexistent support when I went to her with my woes. I told her that she concentrated on the wrong issue. She should have been my shoulder to cry in.
She should have shown up with wine, ice cream and a shovel but instead, she called me a bigger douche than my husband. She tried to gaslight me and I realized that she’s always been a good gaslighter so I interrupted her before she made me out to be the villain.
I asked her bluntly, was (her husband’s name) married when you started sleeping together? You told us that he was married before, we all knew that but we all were under the impression that he was married and divorced before you two met but was he still married?
Is that why you related to the mistress and felt sympathy for her? Because you were her? She didn’t answer me until next day to call me a bitter and jealous monster. Wow!
This was the last one on one interaction with her I have decided. She’s been my friend since preschool but now we need to go our separate ways not only to save us from future hurt but also to save our memories together from hurt.
I talked to my husband too and asked him not to make the separation difficult and bitter that it ruins all the happiness we felt being together because we cannot think back on 1/3 of our lives with resentment.
I asked him to take my dad’s offer (he offered to help him find a lease on an apartment and pay 1/2 years rent if he moved out without giving me problems. When I got home, he and his clothes were gone. He left an apology letter saying that he will always love me and never meant to hurt me.
So I have finally been able to cry my eyes out and it felt so good. I have been crying since I got home. I lost two of my closest people but this is what happens when we hit hardships, we see people’s true faces.
This is my update. I don’t know if anything major will happen to make more updates. It is time for me to move on.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's update:
Antique_College1619
Wow op! Good for you! Your friend is definitely not worth your time and your stbx should be thanking his lucky stars that you are so kind.
Nymatic
"I never meant to hurt you!"
"Im in love with someone else."
I think his relationship with AP might not last that long, hes not very good at lying.
Lemmy-Historian
Alright, that’s the best ending - but I really wanted to know the mistresses reaction once she found out 😁
flyingknives4love
"You owe the mistress an explanation and should help her out by letting her know" is WILD. Poor OP that her supposed bff would say that with a straight face.
oceanarnia
Its soooooo refreshing to read someone actually understanding the importance of self-dignity. You can lose your self-clarity, but you must not lose your self -dignity.
Im glad she spared no time for the nonsense. Im glad she called shit out. Im glad she called it quit with terrible cheaters and liars.