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Woman accused of 'disrespecting' her FIL at stepdaughter's baptism. AITA?

Woman accused of 'disrespecting' her FIL at stepdaughter's baptism. AITA?

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When this woman feels guilty about upsetting her FIL, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for “disrespecting” my FIL?'

My(28F) SO(29M) and I have been together for four years. We each have a daughter from a previous relationship and had two boys together. My SD got baptized and my parent in laws decided to cook lunch at her mom’s.

I went to the actual baptism at church but opted out of the lunch. In the four years, her mom has never spoken to me and has done things like tell SD that my daughter isn’t her sister and when SD came home and told my daughter it hurt her and honestly it hurt me.

In the beginning if we ever wanted extra time with SD it was a matter of giving up other time or it just wouldn’t work. I’ve always loved SD, but definitely feel some type of way towards mom.

She’d send her with clothes too small, head full of lice & complaining she only ate cereal. Meanwhile her mom had her hair done, nails done & always out drinking. SD is in a much better place bc mom found an awesome guy and he and his parents do so much for SD.

Anyways, I let my mil know in advance I would only partake in the church. Once there, fil kept insisting to go when talking to my SO. My SO doesn’t do confrontation so I knew he wouldn’t say anything outside of just declining.

After SO said no twice, fil tried again so I told him I wasn’t going bc mom has never spoken to me so I wasn’t going into her home. He looked a little confused and says okay and I added “and you guys never care how you all make him feel” and asked what about so I said always being with mom.

It was a long time coming tbh, but I feel like they’ve always dismissed SO and his feelings. Since then I haven’t really talked to his family bc they’ve been standoffish and i don’t really see a need to speak to them.

When he addressed it with MIL(on his own acct bc i didn’t ask him to), she said it was bc I disrespected fil and he better be glad that they don’t say anything to me. I never talked in a bad tone or raised my voice bc I was in church. I think he’s just not use to anyone saying anything to him.

I got bad energy from the whole situation so let SO know I’m not coming around his family and neither are my kids. They’re inconsiderate to SO so I can’t imagine how they’ll be towards my kids with the mom that “disrespected” FIL if I’m not around. AITA here? Did I disrespect fil? AITA?

Let's see what readers thought.

visualvariation writes:

ESH— your family sucks, and I don’t think you disrespected your father in law by voicing the cold treatment you’ve been receiving, but where you are also a bit of an asshole is by being passive aggressive and not being completely honest that it is truly you the one who is aggravated by this and not your husband, as you are trying to portray it here.

If talking is not an option, just try to have little contact with them, and move on. It is true that your step daughter and your daughter from a previous marriage are not sisters. Maybe not the kindest thing to bring up, but it’s a fact. Maybe your husband ex feels you took it from her, who knows. People unfortunately won’t always be your friends.

fromnorth8 writes:

NTA. They seem to be prioritizing the mom over their own child. Maybe the church wasn’t the time or place to talk about the SO’s feelings but it seems like it was warranted.

So, is OP NTA or is this an ESH situation?

Sources: Reddit
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