Woman accused of 'stealing' stepsister's dream wedding venue. AITA?
When this woman feels like her stepsister is out of control, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for telling my stepsister she can’t afford her dream wedding venue after she accused me of stealing it?'
I (f25) am getting married next year. I am six months into the planning. I picked the venue pretty early on, and it happens to be the same venue that my stepsister (f27) has always dreamed of getting married.
When I announced to the family that is was all finalised, Lucy (stepsister) flew off the handle. She said I’m a sneaky AH for picking that venue when I knew she had always said that was her ideal wedding venue. I understand her disappointment, but this reaction is, imo, over the top for two reasons.
The venue is very famous. I’m not the first or last person to get married there. It’s a cultural landmark with a rich history that has played host to weddings for centuries. I also love the location, I have for over a decade. Nothing is stopping Lucy from getting married there someday if she so wishes.
The cost of a wedding at this venue is astronomical. My fiancé and I are aware that between my dad’s family and his, we are signing up for a certain type of event and we’re fine with that, but I can admit the cost is eye-watering (I will not be giving the exact number but when...
I contacted the wedding planner and asked if we’d be able to get the venue for 100k, she laughed at me and said the venue would not return our call for that price). I know that Lucy always said “if she could pick anywhere in the world” she’d get married there, but very few people have the pick of the whole word for their venue.
So, Lucy was shouting at me saying I was copying her wedding idea. I tried apologising, I tried to tell her that just because I’m getting married first it doesn’t mean that when she gets married she can’t do it there, I even offered to trim the guest list from her dad’s side so that if she ever did get married there there would be next to no guest overlap.
Nothing worked, there were tears, she was calling me a snake and backstabber. Eventually I just got annoyed and was like, What was I supposed to do? Not pick the venue I wanted just in case you one day have a million dollar wedding? Lucy be serious.
Our parents are saying I went for the throat with what I said and I should apologise. I think that as much as I am sensitive to the fact that she might feel a bit annoyed, she has the rest of her life to get married there or anywhere else if she wants and she needs to let it go. AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
fuzzymom2005 writes:
NTA. So you're supposed to cancel your venue so she can have her imaginary wedding there? No. Don't cancel, don't trim. Don't compromise. Don't do anything to 'keep the peace'.
She's completely unreasonable. Just do what you're doing and don't apologize anymore. Do not engage, discuss, argue with her. 'It's done. If this isn't something you approve of, that is your choice.'
Don't sooth her feelings by including her in the bridal party unless you intended to invite her in the first place. Remember. She is not the bride here. She is not the main character. That is you and your fiancé.
If she threatens not to come, tell her it's her choice. If she drags the family into it, keep calm and do the same. They can come or not, but they cannot change your plans to accommodate her.
repchec writes:
NTA - If she's your family she should be happy that you've picked a nice venue, even if it is her dream wedding. She reacted out of jealousy and I don't see why you can't both have weddings at the venue.
At the end of the day, you're the one getting married - you shouldn't have to not have your dream wedding to please her. If she can't deal with that then its her loss. Maybe that last bit was a lil out of pocket, but she had it coming.