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Woman asks if she's wrong to be angry boyfriend won't let her check his phone.

Woman asks if she's wrong to be angry boyfriend won't let her check his phone.


'AITA for accusing my boyfriend of being territorial of his phone?'

My boyfriend of 3.5 years is acting weird. I don’t know if I’m overreacting but lately I’ve been noticing he has been really territorial over his phone. Like I noticed he turned his read receipts off which our entire relationship he has had it on.

He said it might have just been an update and he didn’t notice it was turned off until I mentioned it. He also started placing his phone face down.

I asked to see his phone so I can see his IG messages/responses from a post he made today about us (he surprised me with a love lock bridge and we threw the keys into the River. like they have in Paris.) and I picked up his phone and he was trying to take it from me. I have access to his phone password because it has my face recognition and I noticed my face recognition wasn’t on.

I asked him about it and he told me it was due to work that he can’t have two face recognitions on. He was like I can show you proof and I was just like no it’s ok don’t worry about it. And earlier today he asked me to get his phone and I went to go to it and immediately he was like “oh wait I’ll get it!”

And takes his phone to check it. He also started locking his office door occasionally. So I called him out on everything and he was just really didn’t give me an explanation. He turned it around on me and said I was acting suspicious, which was true due to everything I mentioned above. I was getting suspicious.

He said he wasn’t aware of his change in behavior and if it continues to let him know. But I feel like he isn’t going to do it anymore since he senses I am on to him. He asked “do you think I’m cheating on you” and of course I said no (I really believe he isn't).

I should also mention he is dropping a lot of hints about getting married soon and asking my ring size and when anyone ask if he is going to propose he just says “soon” then winks at me. We are going on a European trip next month.

So idk if I’m overreacting or if there is something he is hiding? I don’t think he is cheating but idk what else it could be besides him going to propose.

People had thoughts on the comments:


This may be an unpopular opinion, but I'd also consider that your behaviour may be shifting because you are suspicious and that can lead to protectiveness and defensiveness.

I'll never fully understand why people think they *should* have access to someone's's a massive invasion of privacy to have someone go through your phone, even if you aren't doing anything worth hiding at all. He doesn't actually owe you 100% access to himself, and I'd start by examining that expectation.


this!! I’ve been married 25 years and both of us respect our privacy. I don’t have access to his phone and he doesn’t have access to mine. I trust him 100% and I have nothing to hide, it’s the principle. Although we don’t have anything to hide it’s the little things that show respect for each other.

I know he has nothing to hide because if he sees something he hands me his phone to read, he will walk off, but out of respect I close his phone when I’m done. We both have our phones locked and don’t share the codes. He does the same with mine, he will lock it once he’s done reading whatever article I find. It’s called respect.


If you think he’s going to propose and you’re still that worried about seeing his phone you are the AH. Honestly I think YTA in the whole situation, you seem very entitled to his phone. Been with my partner for almost 8 years and we aren’t like that with our phones.


Don’t let your mind spoil a potential surprise. If he took you to a love lock bridge, discusses marriage with you and otherwise treats you well he may be planning something for you and if you keep at him you will ruin it.

Once you know about a surprise there is no going back. If you truly trust him as you say you do, take a deep breath and keep on trusting him. IMO, he hasn’t really given you a reason not to.


He could be cheating or he could be planning a surprise proposal. Either way give it a little more time to play out and don't listen to the rest of the people here accusing you of being immature and not ready to be married. I believe you have a right to be suspicious of his behavior because those are all red flags of hiding something whether it's good or bad..

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