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Woman asks if she was wrong to not tell BF she had plastic surgery sooner. Updated.

Woman asks if she was wrong to not tell BF she had plastic surgery sooner. Updated.


'AITA for not disclosing I had plastic surgery to my boyfriend?'

I (26F) have been dating Max (25M) for 4 months. When I was 22, I had a nose job as I broke my nose twice as a kid and it left it with a large bump. Then, at 23, I had a breast augmentation that bumped me up two cup sizes. These were lifelong insecurities that I was bullied over, and it was really relieving to get them done.

Onto the present: I met Max through a friend and things have been great. Last night, I was strolling through my social media while on the sofa with him. I stopped on an old classmate's vacation photo, where she wore a bikini and frankly, had very obvious implants (she looks great, happy for her! But you can tell.)

Max glanced over at that moment and said, “Gross.” I asked him what the deal was, and he said women who get implants or other surgeries are a huge turn off to most guys, and how men prefer natural over two balloons and how insecure she looks.

I couldn’t help but laugh and said “So you’re turned off by me?” He got very confused and asked what I meant, I informed him I had procedures done before. He kept denying it and saying I was joking until I showed him old photos of me.

He got quiet and left shortly after. I got a text saying I should’ve disclosed this on the first date, how I led him on and that he needs to reconsider things. It’s the next day. Haven’t heard anything, I’m bewildered. AITA?

Here's what people had to say:

DeepestBlack writes:

YTA . If something's a deal breaker, you don't hide it for 4 months. He did nothing wrong. He was respectful. He doesn't have to conform to your ideas and opinions to be decent , he's allowed to have his own opinions.

MaxineLu7 OP responded:

He didn’t say anything about it being a dealbreaker nor did I hide it, I was honest when it came up. If somethings such a huge deal to someone, he could’ve easily told me early on if he had any concerns 🤷🏻‍♀️

Luhvrrs_Lane writes:

NTA I think if it doesn't come up you should bring it up when children are discussed just because the children will inherit what you have naturally.

MaxineLu7 OP responded:

I agree I should bring it up at some point when the context is right, buttttt I hope he doesn’t care about our future kids potential bra size- I’d say he was madder about that than the nose which is fine naturally, just broken

Ok_Specialist_8558 writes:

I mean, how can he not notice you had a boob job?

MaxineLu7 OP responded:

Because my surgeon was amazing, I healed well, he wasn’t overly observant.

tauntingmountain writes:

NTA. His reaction and comment that you 'should've disclosed this on the first date' makes him childish.

MaxineLu7 OP responded:

Yeah that threw me off, I don’t really think “oh by the way my boobs are fake.” is really typical first date talk.

Update from OP:

Alright y’all, I got a text from him a few minutes ago asking to meet up, as he thinks he wants to continue the relationship and wants to talk things over. After all these comments and some thinking, I sent back along the lines of his reaction made me realize he’s not the partner I’m looking for, and that I’ve decided to not continue our relationship.

So yeah, I’m single now, kind of confused if I should mention this to future dates before were official to weed out any more like him? How do you even bring this up?Oh well, I like me, I’m content with my natural and unnatural parts, and I’ll find someone who doesn’t have huge hang ups on plastic surgery.

Second update from OP, the following day:

I just woke up and there’s no way I can reply to all the comments I got overnight, but thank you to everybody for your opinions and thank you to everyone who’s wishing me well! I am sad, we had plenty of good times in those 4 months and I was hopeful about this one, but I’ll be alright. Time for a few self-dates to cheer myself up :)

He finally replied to my text: “I was hopeful we could start over on an honest beginning, but I guess only one of us is mature enough to look past each other’s shortcomings in the relationship. I’m glad you revealed this about yourself before I got too involved.

Goodbye, good luck finding someone cause no real man would respect someone who can’t even respect their own body.”

Wow. I was comfortable with my decision before but now I’m extra comfortable lmfao. Blocked and bye ✌️he never deserved this limited edition set.

Some comments from after the update:

Guy_Incog-Neato writes:

NTA and good riddance to that douchenozzle

MaxineLu7 OP responded:

Douchenozzle. I like that.

dell828 writes:

Please reconsider. He just put his foot in his mouth and was embarrassed. He thought you were naturally beautiful and honestly that is a great compliment.

MaxineLu7 OP responded:

I’ve already ended things and I’m very comfortable with my decision.

vaxination writes:

Seems like he liked it just fine when he thought you were perfect and obviously you made choices that were proportional and not wildly enlarged so whatever its your body not his. My concerns as a partner would be for your health since silicon rupture is really dangerous, otherwise its your choice though! people suck. sorry that happened. better early than later

MaxineLu7 OP responded:

I agree, they definitely do pose a risk of health issues which I don’t love, but unfortunately that wasn’t why he was upset about it. Appreciate it, I think it’ll be for the better though!

winsomebunny writes:

NTA. You lucked out that he showed you this side at four months in. You could have been married before you found out he’s this shallow/misogynistic.

Sources: Reddit
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