When this woman is conflicted about a controversial family wedding, she asks Reddit:
I have several sisters and this situation involves 2 of them. Our oldest sister (April) was dating Jack for 2 years while they were in college. She was a year ahead of him and when she graduate, she got a job offer in another state.
She didn’t want a long distance relationship so she broke up with him before moving. The entire time they dated, we only met him twice so when they broke up, our family completely forgot about him.
5 years later, our youngest sister (Megan) was at an industry convention for her job and ran into Jack as he was one of the speakers. One thing led to another and they started long distance dating.
Before it got serious, Megan asked April if she cared and was given “permission” to continue. April was engaged at the time and didn’t seem to care about their relationship.
This year Jack moved back to our state to be closer to Megan and they eventually got engaged.
April started to make demands like being the maid of honor, vetoing the venue they picked, and not wanting to invite some mutual friends.
I’m a dude and Megan’s wedding will be the first one I’ll be going to so I’m not sure April’s demands are out of line but both sisters ended up in a screaming match. I wasn’t there but I heard it got vicious.
To make a long story short, our family decided to boycott Megan’s wedding next year. Her reasoning is that Megan is breaking some rule by marrying her ex. Of course I think that’s a stupid reason.
Megan and I have always been closer than the rest of the siblings so I decided I’m going to attend the wedding. Now April is on my case and saying that because I’m a guy, I don’t understand what a betrayal it is for Megan to marry her ex.
Our family is saying I’m betraying April by supporting Megan’s betrayal. Now it’s this whole mess and I’m getting nonstop texts about what an ass I am.
admhawthorne writes:
NTA. You're the only one acting maturely in this situation. If April told Megan it was fine to date Jack, then that is all there should've been to it.
April went back on her word, which makes April the asshole because it's been no secret for this whole time that Megan and Jack were involved with each other.
The rest of your family are being assholes for supporting the asshole instead of pointing out that April is the one being the AH. No, man, you're good. Go be an awesome brother and support your sister.
atalein writes:
NTA. April needs to get over herself. 5 years later, Megan asked her for permission, April was engaged for someone else. Now suddenly she is trying to ruin Megan's relationship because "it's her ex" ?
Why is nobody in your family supporting Megan if you guys saw Jack only twice and forgot about him?
ebechops writes:
NTA- Please ask her to explain the logic of demanding to be MOH if the entire relationship 'shouldn't be', let alone the wedding?
My next question would be for the parents: is one sister's ego being unwarrantedly bruised worth more than the happiness of the other sister to the extent that she should give up a good relationship with someone she loves over it?
Also- she didn't want him enough to try a long distance relationship. She dissed him, not the other way around. How is it a betrayal?