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Vegetarian brings own food to BFF's wedding; bride is 'humiliated.' AITA? UPDATED

Vegetarian brings own food to BFF's wedding; bride is 'humiliated.' AITA? UPDATED


When this woman feels guilty for upsetting the bride, she asks Reddit:

"AITA for bringing my own food to my best friend’s wedding?"

I've been best friends with let's call her Abby for years. When she asked me to help plan her wedding last year, I was so thrilled and happy for her. She's always talked about having her dream wedding since we were teenage girls and made me promise that we would both plan it together.

Through the process the one thing that we disagreed on when planning the reception was the meal plan. We went over the menu options together, but I expressed concerns about the limited choices for my dietary preferences.

I'm vegetarian for personal reason, so I suggested to have at least one dish be vegetarian, Abby understood but ultimately chose meals that better suited the majority of the guests as she said the cost was not worth the trouble for a dish that "most people wouldn't like".

I didn't try to argue because ultimately it was her wedding, but I made a joke saying that I would bring my own Tupperware of food and she said she would kill me if I did.

Fast forward to the wedding day, I decided to bring my own prepared meal because I really wasn't satisfied with the catering options. I thought it was a subtle way to address my concerns and I did it discreetly in the kitchen of the venue.

However, when Abby overheard by some of the her family members helping out in the kitchen of what I had done, she was deeply hurt and upset as they gossiped about it with all the guest.

During the reception, she broke down in tears, feeling insulted and embarrassed by my actions. I apologized and told her that it was not my intention to embarrass her but that i've been vegetarian for most of our friendship and that while I was happy for her and her big day, I wasn't going to eat something that I did not enjoy or want.

I made a side comment saying that I should've just eaten at home out of frustration and that seemed to upset her more. It seemed that my attempt to express my needs ended up causing a rift between us on her special day, leaving us both feeling hurt and distant despite our long history together. So am I the asshole?

UPDATE: There was this one side salad and I did eat it during the reception to not seem rude with declining the entire food offering. During dessert I went to the kitchen and ate my food just in time to be back for the toast.

The only other thing I ate was the cake further into the night. That being said, I didn't realize that her aunt, uncle, and cousin were going to be in the kitchen and tell her and the other guest.

Let's see what readers thought.

beginningad writes:

NTA. It's basic decency to include one vegetarian option, especially if you know vegetarians will be there. On what planet does forcing friends to eat meat count as proof of friendship???

businessfly7 writes:

ESH!! I cant believe all these comments! Youre all telling me a full grown adult cant go a few hours without a meal?? Eat a large mean before and keep some peanut butter crackers in your purse!

Most venues dont even allow outside food to be eaten or prepared in their kitchen. The bride is a jerk and very unappreciative, and this would likely end the friendship for me bc id feel so taken advantage of. But it doesnt entitle you to bring your own Tupperware after she explicitly told you not to.

lankyscientist writes:

YTA. A massive A. She told you in advance about her feelings if you brought your tupperware. But somehow, even on her special day, you still did. I wonder if the roles were reversed, if you had a vegetarian mealplan on your wedding and she brought a tupperware full of meat, how you would feel.

AITA would unleash absolute hellfire on that choice. But as per usual with vegatarians, their beliefs seem to trump whatever situation they find themselves in.

Looks like the jury's out. Any thoughts?

Sources: Reddit
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