Woman calls out her boyfriend for giving her 'horrible' gifts, AITA? UPDATED

"My (F 23) boyfriend (M 27) gives me horrible gifts and I’m fed up."

Here's the original post:

We've been together since 2019. Our first Christmas together i got him an alexa with the accessories to make his apartment a smart home. he moved into an apartment around his birthday so I got him a microwave, toaster, silverware etc.

his most recent birthday I got him an at home golf set because he recently became obsessed with golf, it cost more than expected but I was happy to give it to him. Our first Christmas together he gave me a video game and the money he owed me. For my birthday he got me another video game.

My birthday and Christmas is coming up (same day) I bought him a signed Steelers football because that’s his favorite nfl team, he just told me the gift he got me and this might be dramatic but I had to stop myself from crying.

He went on a solo vacation earlier this year and my "birthday present" is that he printed the pictures from his vacation and put it in a photo book. This is his gift to everyone his mom, sister, brother, friends and me. He mentioned it before and I politely told him I did not want that gift. I actually told him I would hate it and he laughed it off.

I've been telling him since we started dating that I like jewellery and would love that as a gift. He tells me he hates going into jewellery stores and more recently a couple days ago said "you already have so much jewellery why would I buy you more?". At this point it feels disrespectful and after finding out my gift today I told him to just not get me anything It literally feels like he doesn't care about me or my feelings

he calls me materialistic because I like to buy myself things and I feel like if I tell him how I truly feel he'll just call me materialistic some more or maybe I am materialistic maybe this is a sweet and thoughtful gift and I ruined it for him

What do you think she should do? This is what top commenters had to say:

hedwig92 said:

My jaw DROPPED at the multiple photo books of HIS vacation!! Is this something people do?? Why would I want a coffee table book of someone else’s vacation pictures?! If someone in my family got us all this gift they would never live it down 😭😭

darknessnbeyond said:

the issue isn't the gifts, the issue is that he makes no effort to do something you would like. he sounds like he's in his own head. this isn't going to change so up to you if you want to live with it long term.

[deleted] said:

Stop buying him sweet and thoughtful gifts. Give him a framed picture of himself. You need to consider if you want to remain in this “relationship”

strivingforstoic said:

Bad gift givers don’t suddenly reform—ever. He’s telling you who he is; believe him. This won’t get better. You’re bending over backwards to get expensive, thoughtful presents and he’s literally dismissing your feelings and calling you names for wanting things.

Verdict: NTA!

A week after her original post, she shared this update:

A couple people have been asking for an update so I thought I’d just make a quick post. We broke up! My birthday party was on the 23rd and he told me he’d be working the entire day.

When I called him to check in he said he got the day off and was going to spend it watching football with his friends I reminded him about my party and he said he hates going out and already promised his friend he’d watch football i must’ve said “but it’s my birthday” in confusion like 10 times before he said it’s not your birthday it’s just your birthday party and I’m not coming.

I told him that was okay cause I was over it. I asked him how Christmas was going to work and he told me he would stop by. He reminded me that he didn’t get me anything because I didn’t want his photo album and he refuses to buy my jewelry.

He then told me how much it hurt his feelings that I didnt want his photo book and said “I’ve never met someone so inconsiderate” this is when we sorta started to argue. I told him if the photo book came with something more heartfelt then I’d appreciate it more but I don’t deserve the same gift being given to his co worker and his parents “I’m giving this gift to everyone that I love”

yes I understand that but you could’ve added a handwritten card or notes literally anything also yes I said I liked jewlery but if you saw literally anything that reminded you of me I would’ve loved it I just want to know you care or thought about me

He said “for my ex’s birthday I played her a song on the piano I don’t understand why you can’t be that type of girl” I asked him how he would know if he’s never done that for me. I didn’t even know he could play the piano. My ex in high school played me the piano and I thought it was the sweetest thing. If he played it for me I would’ve loved it I’m not sure why he decided to bring up ex’s.

He told me I was just trying to make him feel guilty which he will never do. (His words not mine) So we broke it off. After I broke it off he said it’s probably for the best cause he’s looking for someone he can buy a house and combine his money with I reminded him that I’m the only one with savings and also make more than him.

I asked for the golfing set back and told him he could keep all the other gifts he asked why and is now ignoring me when I text asking for a time to meet up and get it. he said it was stupid that I wanted it back.

I do feel a bit guilty when I see videos of people receiving horrible gifts and pretending to love it so I don’t know how to feel I definitely could’ve sucked it up but I guess it was time for us to go our separate ways.