Woman cancels wedding after MIL tries to poison her while she's pregnant. CONCLUDED.
When this bride feels unsafe and surrouded by insanity leading up to her wedding, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for canceling my wedding?"
It's been almost a month and a half since my mother-in-law tried to poison me while I was pregnant with her grandson and some interesting things happened.
My mother-in-law began to tell everyone that I had cheated on her son that my baby was not my boyfriend's, I tried to get my ex to come to my defense but he didn't, on the contrary he told me: "Let's better do a DNA test to find out."
"Let my mother stay silent," I told her that I wouldn't please her and that if she wasn't going to defend me, she might as well not be the father of my baby.
Finally, what made everything worse was that a few days ago my mother-in-law entered my apartment (where she lived with her son before we separated) by force, I don't know how, but she had a key, and she stole my baby's ultrasound scans from my house, I knew everything.
This is because I caught her just when she was leaving, I demanded that she give me the echoes, but she began to attack me and yell at me: "That I was taking her away from her grandson" I reminded her that she had tried to kill her grandson, she disowned him with everyone.
Those of us who knew, was when she tried to throw me on the ground and hit me, but my neighbors came out screaming and defended me, one of them also called the police when he heard that she tried to kill her grandson.
I reported her, not only for trying to rob me, but also for the poisoning while I was pregnant, my mother-in-law was arrested, there they discovered that she had also stolen my documents, money and everything to prevent me from leaving the country. My neighbors also staged my ex-wedding planner and my ex-sister-in-law (her daughter).
Now my ex is complaining to me for reporting his mother and he also tried to hit me but at that moment his sister and brother-in-law were there and they defended me and called the police.
He had been violent before but he had never hit me, only the wall. I must say that my ex-sister-in-law was always very kind to me, she was the one who always defended me, the one who set limits for her mother and it was she who told my ex that her mother had tried to poison me.
My ex-sister-in-law never got along with her mother and lost contact when my ex-mother-in-law ambushed her to reunite her (My ex-sister-in-law) with an ex who almost beat her to death.
I didn't feel safe where I live and decided to return to my country. I just have to wait for the doctor's discharge given that I had a lot of emotions these days. While I recover, my ex-sister-in-law offered me to move in with her, and I accepted, she moved me in at the beginning of the year and I spent the holidays with her and her husband's family.
I just hope to leave before my baby is born, because according to my lawyer, if the baby is born here it would be more difficult to go to my country.
Then, OP writes this first update, which provides more details about her MIL's history:
By the way, here I will put some things that made my ex stop talking to my mother-in-law and how long it took her to forgive him. (It will not go in chronological order but from least serious to most serious)
My ex-mother-in-law paid a "friend of mine" to tell my boyfriend that she was cheating on him. He took advantage of the fact that I was visiting my native country (Chile) for national holidays.
My boyfriend believed him at first but when he asked for hard evidence and they had nothing, they had to change their strategy, saying that I had forced them to delete everything.
When I came back he didn't say anything to me for a month, during that time he acted strange, controlling and even checked my phone, that was the last straw and I asked him for explanations...
He didn't want to give me any explanation, but his sister told me everything, I broke up with him because distrust and I didn't speak to him again for six months. After apologizing to me and showing me that he had kept his mother and my friend away from him, we headed back.
PS: When I tried to get him to tell me the truth, it was the first time he hit the wall with his fist and knocked our TV to the floor.
Almost 4 months passed when he told me that his mother had already apologized to him and me, and that she wanted us to visit her, I never received an apology directly, she only apologized to her son.
OP adds this second update with another wild story:
A few years ago I had an accident and I was left with a scar (it looks like a cesarean section scar) and one day at her house, we went into the pool and she saw my scar and from there she continued insisting that she had had a son, " Where was my son?"
“Surely you abandoned him,” “Surely it belonged to a married man and that's why you didn't say anything, and now you want to make my poor son a stepfather.” I explained to her, but the lady continued with the same thing, so I left her house.
My boyfriend told me that I was rude for leaving his mother talking to herself, so I told her that if she wasn't going to defend me, it was better for us to separate, my boyfriend...
He didn't want to finish and he talked to his mother to stop her from talking, she had already told everyone that I was a prostitute who wanted to make her son a stepfather.
My boyfriend told me that he stopped talking to his mother, but two weeks later I returned from work, my boyfriend was in the bathroom and his mother was rummaging through my drawers, he insulted me again and forced me to show him photos of "my son."
I demanded that she leave and she started attacking me, my boyfriend came out of the bathroom and saw how his mother called me a whore while she hit me, he kicked his mother out of the house.
A month passed and out of nowhere he told me, get ready, “we're going out,” “where did we go?” to a restaurant to celebrate his mother's birthday.
OP continues with another wild update:
3. This was when we were 2 years old, I had already shared several times at his mother's house, but never for Christmas, that dinner, each thing had one or two ingredients that gave me allergies, I couldn't eat anything and I practically wanted to force myself to eat , luckily I realized it just before I put the food in my mouth.
She knew about my allergies, but she pretended not to know, my boyfriend supported me that time and left dinner with me.
The next day her mother came to her house complaining about why she left, that was the first time that my ex-mother-in-law confessed that she had never loved me, that she hated me, I confess that she did it with the full intention of seeing if I would get an allergic reaction.
My partner kicked her out of the house and didn't speak to her again for a whole year, then the woman invented that she had had a heart attack (I found out that years later, because my ex-sister-in-law told me) and he let her back in.
Before we provide you with OP's final insane udpate, let's take a look at some of the top responses:
i340 writes:
Nta you need to continue the complaint to protect your baby from MIL. Your ex could go after you for taking his child and sue for parental rights, even if they aren’t a thing in your native country, he could always take your child and run to a country that will give him rights.
You need to protect yourself legally. Talk to a lawyer and follow their advice. If your ex gets any rights, you know your mil will have access to your child and that could be deadly.
aman2028 writes:
Wow! You are very brave and do not deserve that type of abuse. I agree that you need to move back to your native country, but your ex and his mother NEED to feel the consequences of their actions!
Please continue with the complaint, but advise the police you can only testify remotely for your safety and the safety of your unborn. Good luck and may God Bless You!
felice60 writes:
I’m so sorry, and I’m glad you have the sense to run. I agree that you need to continue pressing charges and look into an order of protection. I suggest you also contact the District Attorney who is handling your case and ask what is necessary to continue the prosecution and for trial.
I think this is important because, if he and/or she ever come to your native country to try and take your child you have a record of prosecution for violence, abuse, and theft for your courts and the US courts, if needed.
Also, I think you should ask of both countries (maybe your native country’s ambassador) if you should take steps to protect yourself against any claims that you effectively kidnapped the baby by leaving and without providing contact information to your baby’s bio father and what those steps might be.
yer092998 writes:
Contact a lawyer to understand custody laws now. Without you being an active partner to your ex, you can bet his mother is going to swoop in. She will be part of your babies life.
Beyond being a part of your babies life, what are the chances she shows up when you are delivering the baby? I think she is the last thing you want to see then. If she has months to get her claws back into him, when he knows you are going into labor, she will know. Work with the hospital on your birth plan and make it clear that she is persona non grata.
There might be some benefit to physically moving to maintain primary custody and limit her contact. But this will be difficult when pregnant as you will have to change your providers. This is something to understand with a lawyer.
Does your state or country have "grandparents' rights"? When would they kick in? You can bet she will try to play that card. Get the information you need from the lawyer so you can understand how you could be impacted and can separate bluster from reality.
Might also impact the moving decision and where to move to minimize her impact if that is possible.
Is redemption possible for your boyfriend? It sounds like you love each other, and his reactions are correct. However, he lacks the backbone to make it stick. Could distance provide thst backbone? Only you can be the judge of thst. Throwing it our there to think about. But your and your child 's safety must cone first.
And now, OP's final update:
It's been almost 2 months since my mother-in-law tried to poison me while I was pregnant with her grandson and a few things happened: My MIL continued to spread rumors that i cheated on her son and that my baby was not her grandson.
So I got tired and asked my ex to come out and say that everything his mother said was a lie, but he didn't do it, on the contrary he told me: "Let's do a DNA test so that my mother will stay silent",
I told him that I would not please her and that if he was not going to defend myself and his son, he better not even think about being the father of my baby, not even that made him react, so I blocked him and decided to consult with a lawyer on the issue of custody and parental rights
After that discussion I had a few really calm days, the accusations simply stopped and many apologized, for a moment I believed that my ex had come to his senses and defended me.
But the peace ended quickly, last week my MIL entered my apartment (where she lived with her son before we separated).
by force, I don't know how and I don't know how long ago, but she had a key, and she stole my baby's ultrasounds and all my medical records from my house.
Luckily I caught her just when she was running away from my apartment, I confronted her, she tried to justify her actions and say that the ultrasounds also belonged to her son, when I asked her to hand me what she had taken from my house she started yelling at me:
"That I was taking her grandson away from her." I reminded her that she had tried to kill her grandson and she had disowned him.
That's when the attack became physical. Good luck to me, my neighbors came out when they heard the screams and defended me, also one of them they decided to call the police.
Finally they took her away for assault and burglary, I also reported her for poisoning, when they arrested her they discovered that she had also stolen my passport and money and she justified everything because "she was afraid that I would flee the country with her grandson."
After that scandal, my ex came to my apartment complaining about me for reporting his mother, he also tried to hit me but at that moment his sister and BIL were there and they defended me and called the police. Before, he had violent reactions but he had never tried to hit me.
I must say that my SIL always was and is very kind to me, she was the one who always defended me, the one who set limits for her mother and it was SHE who spoke to every person who called me a b&tch and she told them what my MIL did to me
With everything that happened, I no longer felt safe in my apartment, so I made the decision to return to my native country, before my baby is born, so while I gather all the necessary things and receive the discharge from my doctor, I stay. at my SIL and her partner's house.
Regarding the legal issue, I must say that I am considering not continuing with the complaint, given that this takes time and I am already almost 6 months pregnant so my possibilities of leaving before my daughter is born are being limited.