Woman 'cries for hours' when her in-laws cancel her honeymoon with only 2 days notice.
When this woman feels triggered by her in-laws, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for being angry that my in-laws canceled our honeymoon?'
My husband and I never got a wedding. We waited three years to finally do a small ceremony, which is coming up in 2 days. We just got back from a trip to a potential state we are going to move to. My husbands dad decided to come along and he did pay for much of it and he got to see his daughter in the state too. I am very thankful for that.
We were planning (for months) a small honeymoon in the nearest city for 4 days and 3 nights. It was clearly spoken that my side of the family (including myself) would pay for x and my husbands side would pay for y (the honeymoon).
We never had a honeymoon after we eloped three years ago and so this was greatly anticipated. We had asked and asked to make the reservations but his dad kept saying to do it later. Now they are expensive because it is so close to the date.
Jump to today (TWO days before my wedding) my husbands dad told him that he wasn’t going to pay for the honeymoon bc he paid for the trip. TWO DAYS notice, which for us meant one thing: no honeymoon.
I would have been okay with it if he has given us a notice a month ago so that I could have saved up for it. I would have canceled our trip too, potentially. But two days notice was not enough time to plan a honeymoon and fund it by myself (I am a broke college student and waitress, my husband is a nursing student and unemployed).
I cried for hours. Then my husband told me that his dad changed his mind and would give us $1500 for our honeymoon bc he felt guilty. I would like to decline their offer but my husband thinks that’s prideful of me. I would rather use our savings at this point but my husband doesn’t want us to.
I am still angry and his parents heard my husband and l’s fight about it from the other room. My husband is on his dads side and has made me feel like a bad person for expressing that I was upset. The fight was heated. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for their help. I just feel whip lashed. Am I the asshole?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
hellios writes:
YTA. Let me get this straight. You are broke and your husband is unemployed, and you guys got married. Sounds to me like you in no position to be demanding anything.
starmansky writes:
Sorry, but ESH - and unfortunately you've learned a harsh lesson in the process. You would've saved for it if you'd known... But you have had three years to save for it.
You insisted on waiting for someone else to give it to you, even to the point of asking your FIL multiple times when he would pony up. Yes they promised. But after putting it off once, or even twice, you should have realized it wasn't coming and started your own plans.
Your in-laws suck bc they've held onto this 'promise' despite not wanting to follow through and knowing that you're relying on it without any backup.
Maybe it's not financially easy for them either, maybe they're put off by being reminded that they owe it to you, maybe they've been judging every purchase you and hubby have made on your limited income against the size of the gift you're asking them for. Money between family always gets weird.
To everyone saying 'poor people deserve nice things, too', you're goddamned right. I grew up government-cheese poor and learned very young not to rely on anyone else - especially family! - to pay for things I needed or wanted.
It's not always about someone else being an AH, but it is sometimes about the opportunity cost to the other person and having enough self-awareness to realize when your expectations are making someone else's life harder.
nquisitive writes:
NTA. Tell them 'No, thank you', save up your own money and plan your honeymoon another time. I hate relying on other people as well and I would not trust his parents any longer. Tell your husband to get a job and get the hell away from those manipulative people.