Woman desperately doesn't want to be a bridesmaid for her sister. AITA?
When this woman is desperate to not be in her sister's wedding, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for not wanting to be a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding?"
I (24F) have an older sister, Claire (26F) who is getting married next year. Claire asked me to be one of her seven bridesmaids. I felt honored at first, but the more I think about it, the more I don't want to do it.
Claire has always been really demanding and high maintenance. And now she is even more extreme when it comes to her wedding.
I know being part of her wedding party will mean a lot of stress and drama. She critiques every detail about our dresses, hair, makeup, etc. and makes unreasonable demands.
When I tried to gently tell Claire I don't feel comfortable being a bridesmaid, she completely lost it on me. She called me selfish and accused me of trying to ruin the most important day of her life. Now the whole family is pressuring me to give in and be part of her wedding party.
I offered to attend the wedding as a regular guest, but Claire said if I'm not a bridesmaid then I shouldn't bother coming at all. Am I being unreasonable here? I don't want to cause family drama, but I really think being a bridesmaid will be miserable with how Claire is acting. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
spicyturtle38 writes:
NTA. If you want to be a BM to keep the peace, I’d suggest telling her up front that you are ONLY available for the wedding day, rehearsal, and a bachelorette party if you are given ample notice (or similarly specific events/availability). Tell her you have a strict budget, and then simply don’t engage. Set firm boundaries and stick to them.
But honestly, if you’re okay with the relationship fallout, no one here is going to blame you for saying “forget it.” We don’t need to maintain toxic relationships.
fuzzymom2005 writes:
NTA. Her actions and reactions are unreasonable. Back out. Tell her you wish her well. And don't go. The whole family telling you to do this is saying your feeling mean nothing. I wouldn't be surprised if you're not the only bridesmaid to back out, either.
youthasia9 writes:
Your sister told you if you if won’t be her bridesmaid, you might as well not even go to the wedding. Well? Ok, then. Now you have a free pass to sit this whole thing out. I suggest you take it.
And, even better, you can watch the unfolding drama from a safe, uninvolved distance as the other bridesmaids are run ragged and their expenses climb! And, because you aren’t invited to the wedding, you don’t even have to buy a gift!
NTA And you are wise to bow out now, so your sister can have the maximum amount of time to rope some other poor unsuspecting girl into being her little bridesmaid/servant.