When this woman starts to question her role as designated driver, she asks Reddit:
Me and my group of close friends goes out to drink reasonably often, and we all take turns being DD in a rotation of sorts.
The issue for me is that I'm heavily visually impaired, to the point where I can't and never will be able to legally drive, even using bioptics or other assistive tech. Instead, on "my nights", I pay for an Uber or Taxi for all of us, which others have said is a completely acceptable option for them.
The problem comes up with me drinking on my nights. Even though I'm not actually driving (and can't reasonably be expected to), one of my friends expressed that it's not fair that I get to drink on my nights, when everyone else holds back on their nights.
In my view, it's not unfair at all -- if anyone else wanted to drink on their own night, they're more than welcome to pay for an Uber the way that I do every time it's my night -- they just usually choose not to.
Am I the asshole? I'm no alcoholic and am more than fine going through an event or outing without drinking or anything, but I also don't see the point in holding back when I reasonably could have one.
NTA. You are completely right, on their designated nights, they can choose to abstain and save money, or they can choose to get an Uber for everybody. If you aren't driving, you don't have to abstain.
NTA unless you are supposed to be a caretaker of sorts as well, making sure that nobody has too much to drink or the like.
As long as that's not the case, the next time someone tells you it's not fair, tell them it's not fair that you can't drive, and those two things should cancel each other out. Also, call that "friend" out in front of the group. I doubt any of your real friends will feel the same way.
I'm giving you a soft YTA. When I am the Designated Driver I do more than ensure my friends get a ride home with a sober driver. I'm kind of the Designated Adult for the night.
I'm the one who makes sure nobody goes home with that sketchy dude from the bar, or who helps with wardrobe malfunctions. I'm the one who keeps everyone safe so they can let their hair down and have fun. I think your friends are expecting you to be the Designated Adult, not just the Designated Driver.