Honestly is important in any relationship, but there are times when being honest requires tact. There are also times when you can just let something go rather than sharing something hurtful.
In this story from Reddit, a women was honest and it hurt her bofyriend. Now she's not so sure she handled things well. Here's her story.
I f26, have been dating my boyfriend 'Ned', m28 for 8 months. He's the sweetest person and has a wonderful creative skills. He makes handmade stuff like frames/vases/memory boxes etc. I keep some of his works that he gave me as gifts.
The situation took place when he visited me at my new workplace and brought a gift he made by himself. The occasion was me getting hired in this company I'm currently at. I share the office some other employees and they watched as Ned gave me the gift. I opened it and found a colorful pencil holder.
He asked if I liked and I said yes. He told me I could use it in my new office and put it on my desk. I put it on the desk and thanked him.
The second he left I started getting looks from the other employees. I even heard some giggling going on nearby and I was 100% they were laughing about the pencil holder. what sealed it for me was when an employee walked by and said 'Nice pencil holder you got there, Your son made this for you?!' followed by laughter by those that were standing nearby.
I felt horrible I just stayed by myself til I got off work and saw Ned. I told him I appreciated his gift but he really shouldn't have brought it to my work. He said the reason he brought to my workplace was to congratulate me for the job but I told him that he somewhat embarrassed me infront of the other employees because they made fun of the gift's color and asked if 'my son' made it.
He got offended and said that he didn't get where he went wrong...and asked if I didn't like the gift. I said I did like it but he shouldn't have brought it to my workplace. He got upset and said he thought he was doing something for me then accused me of being ashamed of his projects which I'm not...obviously.
We argued then he left in anger. I tried calling him but he only responded via a text talking about how hurt he felt by saying that he embarrassed me when he was just trying to celebrate this new job with me. I feel more upset now thinking I may not have handled this tactfuly.
So there you go. Poor 'Ned.' Here's what people said in the comments. We hope OP read them.
YTA. You definitely did not handle it tactfully. You could have come up with a dozen other reasons why he should not visit you at work, rather than insulting him. He made you something special out of love. Your co-workers are horrendous people and I hope you learn to ignore them. You owe your bf an apology.
Then a slueth in the comments found out that OP had posted another post, where 'Ned' is now 'Nick,' but she's still the AH. Here's that story...
My f26 car broke down several weeks ago. My boyfriend 'Nick' m29 drives me to and from work everyday which I'm thankful for HOWEVER....he has this habit of waving me goodby everytime he drops me off at work. I mean hand up waving type of waving.
It didn't bother me much at first til one of my coworkers saw him and brought up to the whole department later to 'laugh' about it.
I was livid that day. Nick came to pick me up and I didn't say anything til we got home. That's when I flipped out and told him that the way he was waving me goodbye like I was some 5 year old girl embarrassed me infront of my coworkers. He acted confused and said he didn't get what was wrong in what he was doing and was just doing a nice gesture.
I told him he should've used some other method like a text or something but he argued that first of all he's doing me a favor dropping off/picking me up everyday using his car and driving extra 20 minutes to get to his own work. And that second of all my coworkers were rude to think this was somethinh they would 'get a laugh' from and said I should be mad at them not him instead of saying 'I embarrassed him'.
We argued some and he stopped speaking to me for the rest of the night.
I feel like an idiot. I mean I appreciate his favor but to wave at me like I was a school girl really got my coworkers laughing and making me the butt of their weird joking habit.
AITA for telling him he embarrassed me?
So there you have it. 2XAH! Run 'Ned' or 'Nick' or whatever your name is!