Woman ends 12-year-friendship with bride the day after her wedding. AITA?
When this woman is angry with her friend who got married, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for ending a 12 year friendship the day after her wedding?"
Back story time: My friend (23F) and I (24F) have been friends for 12 or more years. We grew up playing sports together and that was always the foundation of our friendship.
I always avoided hanging out with her outside of sports though bc she was COMPLETELY BOY CRAZY, all she ever talked about was boys she liked and how cute boys were and I just never cared. However her mom and my mom were super close so we ended up hanging out together all the time.
We grew apart a bit in high school bc we went to rival schools and my schools sport team was always better than hers, and to be honest, her and I played the same position and I was better than her.
Her parents on a few occasions tried to sabotage my playing time when we were on the same club teams, my mom actually called them out a few times for this, but we remained friends. Once we both went to college our relationship became more distant but we always still cared for each other.
She was in my wedding in 2021 and i told all my bridesmaids about my plans and that I was going to be walking down the isle to “Forever” by Chris Brown because i LOVE the TV show The Office and that’s just my husband and Is relationship.
Cut to her wedding in 2023. 2 months before her wedding I found out I was pregnant with my first child that my husband and I struggled for. I called to tell her the good news and she did not care and did not even tell me congrats.
She sounded annoyed and eventually said “that’s cool” and we ended the call. I stayed a bridesmaid even though I was extremely upset by her reaction. On her wedding day she walked into her reception to “Forever” by Chris Brown.
I was livid. I did not say anything to her about it though as I didn’t want to take away from her day.
However she did not say a word to me the whole wedding day or take any pictures with me except for 2-3 professional ones or group wedding party photos, and she excluded me in helping her with things and said “I don’t want to exhaust you as you are pregnant”. AITH for blocking her on everything and deleting her number the day after her wedding?
Let's see what readers thought.
clunkofthevoid writes:
YTA. You're ditching a friend of 12 years because she wasn't excited enough about your pregnancy, she walked down the aisle to the same song as you two years later, and because she was too busy on her wedding day to bother you?
okremote1036 writes:
YTA from what you wrote. It’s one thing to allow a relationship to grow apart, and there’s nothing wrong with not staying in touch with her after the wedding if you don’t feel a connection. But blocking her and deleting her number was unnecessarily rude.
Your reasons that she upset you so much are hard to understand. Did you really expect / need her to gush about your pregnancy? Not everyone is that excited about pregnancies, and it’s even possible she may have recently had a miscarriage and had to manage her own emotions.
She used the same song that you had used to walk into her wedding reception, two years later, which I would see as flattering. This may be a coincidence, or may be because she liked it at your wedding.
Then she didn’t give you enough attention on her wedding day. However it is very hard to spend time with guests on your wedding day - 2-3 pictures is a LOT (only my immediate family was in that many) and you usually only have the chance to say a few words to each person at best.
I hope with future friendships you give more grace to the other person, and as friendships fade you let them go without a dramatic end.
marthastewart writes:
YTA. "sHe uSeD thE SaME sOnG i DiD oN mY wEdDing sO I unFrieNDed hEr" - sounds like something a toddler would say when playing fake wedding with their friends.
If this (former) friend means anything to you (which I assume she must if this all upset you this much) then you might try talking to her about it, like you know, an adult would, rather than just cutting her off.