Woman feels judged unfairly when boss says, 'your sports bra is unacceptable.' AITA?
When this woman feels shamed by her boss, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for wearing a sports bra at the gym?"
26 F work at in a smaller office building that has a gym inside. To save time I usually will workout there rather than go to the gym by my house. My attire for working out is a sports bra and running shorts. I’ve been at this company for 5 months and have been using the gym basically the entire time. It’s never ever crowded which is nice.
Yesterday I got called into my bosses office. He proceeded to tell me that the building management people (who I guess are also in charge of the gym) sent an email to him saying that they received complaints from people about what I am wearing in the gym and telling me that I must put on a “full shirt” or else I may lose gym access.
My boss tried to stay neutral and say that he’s never seen me at the gym, doesn’t really have an opinion, but this is what the people in charge said. He tried to relate to me and say that when he uses his treadmill at home he likes to run shirtless but when he’s at a public gym he wears a shirt.
He tied it all together and said when we are at our office, regardless of it being the gym or not, it is important to always appear professional. He said I need to be conscious of “my brand” when I am at the gym in the office too.
Him and I usually have a good relationship so I was surprised he wasn’t backing me up here. He said he doesn’t make the rules for the gym. I told him that now I’m uncomfortable working out there because I feel like I’m being judged.
He didn’t sympathize at all and said I have the option to workout somewhere else if I don’t like the rules. I also said I think it’s borderline sexist.
Once again he said he doesn’t make the rules but it’s always better to be more cautious in a work setting, and it’s not really the place to go to battle over perceived sexism when it very well may have been women who complained. He says he has no idea who complained, he knows what the building managers told him. am I the asshole for this?
Let's see what readers thought.
woodlandweir writes:
Sorry, girl, YTA. Workplace gym is different than Golds Gym. Your boss probably should’ve had building management send out a building-wide email/forwarded it to you and stayed out of it completely.
Also, if people (meaning more than one person) are complaining about your gym usage, and the gym is “never crowded”, you’re probably doing something wrong.
nylonvest writes:
NTA. Ok, look, the rules are the rules. Now that you know, wear a shirt or work out somewhere else where just a sports bra is ok. It's not actually unusual for gyms to have this rule, and admittedly it can be a little unevenly enforced because it's not always clear what is a "sports bra" vs. a tight / small top.
There was no point arguing about it or calling it sexist to your boss who doesn't set the rules.
But fuck whoever it was for going to your boss about this without addressing it with you first. It's not like you were being obscene and this was a really serious situation. Raising the issue with your boss is almost going nuclear. They tried to f with your JOB here instead of just asking you to change your dress code.
greenteashaman writes:
YTA. It's a business, businesses have rules. Rules that they can set themselves. This isn't a public space where you can do or wear what you want. It's not sexist and your boss doesn't need to back you up. Accusing him of being sexist is an asshole move. If there were men wearing very little someone may have complained about them too.