Woman free bleeds for health reasons at MIL's house; gets called an 'animal.' AITA?
When this woman upsets her MIL after free-bleeding at her house, she asks Reddit:
"AITA For free bleeding at my MILs house?"
To start, free bleeding is essentially not wearing any form of protection on your period (so you are bleeding freely - clues in the name).
I'm currently staying at my MILs house with my husband for a family get together (six birthdays in one week).
I have horrifically painful periods and bad mobility. I can not use cups and am allergic to all brands of pad I've used (rashes on all genitalia, which does not feel good). I do have cloth pads but I only brought a couple small ones for my trip as I wasn't due on until days after we got home, but we're on day four of our trip and I started my period on our first night.
I tried to use some disposable pads I picked up but I broke out in a rash and have blisters everywhere they should not be, so two days ago I decided to say what the hell and free bleed like I do at home.
I bring my own towels to my MILs, so I have been sitting and sleeping on those. I have bled through twice but cleaned the mess and left no stain.
My MIL is pissed off to say the least. She's disgusted by my lack of decorum and carrying my bloody towel around everywhere. She also hates that I'm washing them in her machines and is now saying we need to pay to have them professionally cleaned (which we will do).
Everything kinda came to a head last night when she lost it on me for "behaving like an animal". She wants me to leave, but my husband stay, which isn't possible (one car, I can't drive that far, especially not with the amount of pain I'm in).
My husband is on damage control but I just feel so bad. Am I in the wrong here? I understand that it's not super sanitary but my health matters more than some bed sheets. I'll replace them if she wants.
I'm close to just gritting my teeth through the pain and putting a pad on, but I really don't want to. I don't want open sores down there when we're driving home - sitting for that long will suck. AITA? I feel like I'm choosing the lessar of two evils but now I don't know.
Let's see what readers thought.
drdoggiemom writes:
YTA. This is completely unsanitary and disgusting to do in someone else’s home. You do have options you know can work, including period panties; you should have come prepared.
Period suppression is also an option with contraceptives, for the future. “Free bleeding” in someone else’s home is never an option. The better option would have been to leave, and if your husband needed to leave in order to facilitate that, that’s fine.
One must have quite a sense of entitlement to spill their biohazard all over someone else’s home and property. Absolutely wild.
shoeah5905 writes:
No you’re NTA and wow to all these people who have no idea what this medical issue is like.
Until I had a hysterectomy, I bled so heavily that it turned cancerous twice, I frequently had blood transfusions, and was in tremendous pain all the time. No medication could stop it, and, in fact, gave me dangerous blood clots. No amount of sanitary products could contain it (though I tried—I wasn’t allergic).
People didn’t take me serious so I’ve had to work my jobs through bleeding to the point of delivering presentations while it ran down my legs, or getting it on my office floor, or getting it onto the seat during a flight. I’ve ruined clothes, furniture, the seat of my car, sheets, towels, etc. It took 20 years of this before I could get the hysterectomy.
She wants the wash machine professionally cleaned? Seriously? That’s f’ing ridiculous. And sitting on a towel… what does she think menstrual pads are? Menstruation and women’s bodies aren’t gross. Would people be so quick to judge if this was a man with colon cancer wearing a colostomy bag?
What a lack of empathy. What a betrayal by another woman. Go home, and don’t bother having relationships with people who are disgusted by you having a disability that you can’t control. I hope you find some relief for your menstrual problems.
bornrazmatazz writes:
NAH, but you should have gone home as soon as you realized your period had started--your husband should have driven you, and you could have negotiated on the way whether he'd go back and for how long.
I sympathize with your medical issues, which aren't your fault, but I can also see MIL's point (what's she going to have "professionally cleaned," her washing machine? A couple of cups of bleach would take care of it, I'd think). I wouldn't want to "free bleed" in my own house, whether menstrual or from a hemophiliac cut, much less in someone else's.