Woman is furious when fiancé gets multiple 'disgusting' and 'unsafe' tattoos. AITA?
When this woman is frustrated with her fiancé's tattoos, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for getting mad at my fiancé for getting a tattoo behind my back?'
First of all, I know from the title that I may seem like a control freak who needs to know everything my partner does but please hear me out. My fiancé (26m) and I (26f) have a long distance relationship temporarily. He originally told me about 2 months ago that he wanted to get my name tattooed on him.
Personally, I don’t think anyone should get someone’s name tattooed on them and I told him this, but I also explained to him that it’s his body so the choice was his but to make sure that he thought about it because it was a permanent decision.
He then proceeds to tell me that he wants to save money, so he’s letting a buddy of a buddy that he barely knows do it at home. I told him that if he must get a tattoo to at least be safe about it and wait until he’s able to save up and get it done by a professional in a shop because of the risk of infection, injury, etc.
After talking more about it, he agreed that he’d wait and go to a professional. Fast forward to yesterday. We were talking on the phone instead of video chatting, and he’s telling me that he has a surprise to show me but wants to wait until we see each other in person.
The convo went on, and after me trying to guess what the surprise was, he finally admitted that he’d went ahead and gotten the tattoo from his buddy. But not only did he get my name, he’d also gotten 2 more tattoos: one on his leg, and one on his FACE, right under his eye!
At first, I thought there was no way he’d really done that and was just telling me that to see my reaction, but as we talked more, I realized he was serious.
He explained to me in detail the tattoos. I was livid. Not only did he put himself at risk by getting tattooed by an unprofessional, he put himself at an even bigger risk by getting a tattoo right under his eye. Also, he’s been job searching, so now he’s going to have a harder time getting a job since he’s gotten a tattoo on his face.
I told him that maybe we should rethink our engagement because obviously we don’t know each other as much as we thought we did. I told him that if he really knew me, he’d know that I hate face tattoos and find them tacky and unattractive.
They scream “I make bad decisions”, especially in the workplace which he’s been having a hard time getting back into already and now it’s going to be even harder. I also told him that I don’t know him as well as I thought I did because he’s not a man of his word.
He promised me that he’d wait to go to a professional but went back on his word and did what he said he wouldn’t do anyways. Of course, he told me I was overreacting and made me seem like some stuck up b*tch who won’t let him make his own decisions. AITA?
PS: I’d like to add that I’m not judging people who have tattoos. He had tattoos when we met and even I have tattoos myself, but I’ve always felt that the line should be drawn at the face and personally don’t like face tattoos. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
notwilling7 writes:
NTA. I'm all for expressing yourself, and full disclosure, I have tattoos myself, but.... Tattoos aren't surprises for other people. A good tattoo artist wouldn't do a partner's name. And FFS, if you're looking for a job that isn't really a good time to get one on your face.
jenniwif7wg writes:
NTA he makes unsafe decisions and cannot be trusted to keep his word. Break the engagement. You are absolutely right. You didn’t know him well enough to be engaged and this new information changes your perception of him as partner material. Make a clean break and fast.
slytherinrising writes:
Honestly NTA. When you are in a relationship with someone you are that person’s partner. That means you bounce everything off of each other and compromise. The fact that he broke a promise to do something so immature is a bit childish.
He doesn’t have a job and he just made it harder to get one, he’s spending money irresponsibly, and he’s throwing a fit when you call him out for his BS like a toddler. Glad he did this BEFORE you got married OP, I think you should so find someone on your maturity level because it isn’t this guy. NTA.