Woman hates her engagement ring; fiancé & his family turn against her. AITA?
When this bride to be is disappointed in her engagement ring, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for being disappointed by my boyfriend’s proposal ring?"
My (26F) boyfriend (38M) proposed at a spot that we met a year ago, with a ring that had been his mother’s. The ring had been given to his mom 40 years ago from her ex-husband who constantly treated her like crap and cheated on her. But, this ring was given to her at a time in their marriage where things were good.
When my boyfriend asked his mother about ring shopping, she told him to save his money and that she had this ring. So that’s what he gave me. He didn’t confirm my ring size so it was too big, and within 10 hours of proposing one of the stones fell out of it. Luckily, his mom said she has extra stones to replace.
It is important to note that I did not expect a $2k fancy engagement ring, but I thought he might want to pick something special for me. On top of that, I felt really odd receiving this ring because it was a gift from a horrible ex-husband, a material gift of a marriage that fell apart, it didn’t fit me, and a stone fell out the next day.
I explained to my boyfriend how I felt, and that if it was a treasured family heirloom that I would be honored to accept it as my engagement ring. Instead, it feels like a low effort choice to just put something on my finger, especially something from a disolved marriage that was pretty horrible for his mom.
In response; he told me I am a garbage human being, snobby and that every person he’s talked to agrees with him. They said that it’s a nice sentiment and that I shouldn’t worry about the material item.
It’s also important to note that my boyfriend makes decent money and could save for a simple ring if he wanted to. The ring offer from his mom was not his only option.
Please, knock some sense into me if I am being the asshole here. I am struggling to see how I am being materialistic with something that I will wear on my hand as a symbol of our love and commitment until we get married. Please be kind, and I appreciate your thoughts with this situation. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
justagal writes:
NTA. May I suggest you have a l-o-n-g engagement. You have only known this person one year and there is a large age difference. Your beliefs and feelings are being discounted. Consider that a warning. You may find that after several years of being treated this way, your choice of life companion may change.
recentdata256 writes:
It is not about the ring. It’s about his lack of concern about your feelings. You told him you’d marry him, but just want a different ring - his response was to insult you. I married a good guy.
When he has given me a gift, and I was not happy with it - he apologized and I exchanged it. It wasn’t my engagement ring, but still. BF reaction is not acceptable. You gently requested to change the ring and he went off on you. These things DO NOT improve with marriage.
j13fyow writes:
NTA. He called you names. That is not okay. A garbage person? Then, why would he want to marry you? There are red flags here. Are you sure you want to marry this guy?