When this woman is concerned that she humiliated her boyfriend, she asks Reddit:
I (33f) and my boyfriend (37m) went on a big beach vacation we'd been planning with two of our other couple friends for a while.
I make significantly more money than my boyfriend (I'm a nurse practitioner, he's a barista), and because of this he thinks it's fair I pay for most things. I have no problem with this, as I love doing fun things with him.
So we're on our big vacation and having dinner at a nice restaurant and one of his friends mentions how lucky I am to have a partner who "takes care of me."
I asked what he meant, and apparently my boyfriend told his friends he paid for the whole trip, along with all the other fun things we do (concerts, nice meals, other vacations.) Totally surprised, I said that I pay for everything.
My boyfriend got flustered and left the table. He was angry with me the rest of the trip. Later in our room he told me I made him look like a 'beta' and I had no right embarrassing him like that. AMITAH? I was just telling the truth.
“I made him look like a beta”. NTA, but Girl run. This guy wants to use your money, and then goes around telling people that you’re the one using his money.
He wants the praise, but wants you to put in the work, and when people find out his reaction is to degrade you using disgusting Tate-language and insisting you are the problem while also insisting you keep paying his way.
You need to get out of this relationship. Ask yourself if you really want a future where you pay for everything, do all the work, and he still gets all of the praise, just so he can feel like an “alpha”. If he wants to be an “alpha” then he can start by paying for his own vacation, and stop leeching off of you!
NTA. Not that anyone with any intelligence still buys into the alpha/beta male nonsense, but indulging it for a moment, you didn't make him *look* like a beta. He simply *is* one by his own standards because he cannot afford to take care of you. That's his problem.
If he's that insecure about his earnings and that concerned with appearing as though he can take care of you, then he'd better be working his ass off to advance himself so that he actually can one day.
Otherwise, he's just going to constantly diminish you to feel better about himself. You worked hard for your career and can pay for stuff. You have a right to be proud of that.
NTA. He lied. Then when confronted said you make him "look like a beta." WTF. He didn't have to be embarrassed by the truth. A secure man would be honored to have a partner who wanted to pay for the vacation and could pay for the vacation without his help.
This boyfriend will never be a true partner without some serious therapy. If he is embarrassed by the current dynamics of your relationship, then he needs to step up and not put you down for
being a provider.