Woman infuriates brother after bridesmaid throws red wine on her at his wedding. AITA?
When this sister is accused of "ruining" her brother's wedding, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for failing to realize I work a white blouse to a wedding ?"
I was invited to my brother's wedding. Our relationship is okay. We don't talk much because we live in different parts of the world.
The wedding was two weeks ago and I flew in a week beforehand. I was not in the bridal party or anything like that. I also don't really have a relationship with his wife. So there should be no bad blood between anyone.
The dress code was "fancy." It didn't say much more. The only thing it said was no indigo blue dresses or white dresses as well as no velvet red suits as those were the colors of the wedding party.
I hate dresses. I have not worn one since I was 13. For fancy wear I only wear suits, pant suits, one piece etc.
For my own wedding I wore a very nice white pantsuit. For this occasion, I chose a normal black suit, vest, and suit jacket. White blouse, black heels, slick hair, some toned down makeup.
No tie but a nice necklace. I looked good but in no way bridal or upstage-y. And to be honest, most men had the same outfit on. Sans heels. Which is why it never crossed my mind, that I was doing something wrong.
Till after the food everything was going well. I had noticed the bridal party bumping into me somewhat often. But sh&^ hit the fan when I took off my vest because I had spilled something on it.
Then the bride's family and friends started to be more hostile with me. Culminating in the bridesmaid dumping red wine on me. I was mad, but I pretended like it was a genuine mistake and didn't say anything.
Since then, my brother has called me 3 times. Once to tell me that I really fucked up his wedding. The second to demand that I apologize. And the 3 (which was like 4 minutes later, not even leaving me time to write his wife) telling me I am dead to him until I make this up to him.
My husband and mother a bewildered by this. My father said I should have had more foresight seeing as I am a woman ans wore white to a wedding. Aita ?
Let's see what readers thought.
owlscardinals writes:
NTA. I too am bewildered. It sounds like your outfit was predominantly dark in color and obviously was not a wedding dress or bridal garb in anyway. The behavior of those who were offended at the wedding is atrocious and disgusting.
EVEN IF you had indeed made the faux pas they seem to think you did, that would have been ridiculous and inappropriate treatment. I'm sorry you were held to that ridiculous standard.
Does your family dynamic historically really involve statements like 'you're dead to me'? What does your brother even mean by 'making it up to him'? They want you to grovel? I mean, they honestly just sound extraordinarily easily triggered, unkind, and mean.
pizzarollgal writes:
NTA I don’t see how the white blouse of a pant suit “ruined” his wedding. No one thought you were the bride and many men were similarly attired.
Sometimes people just want to be triggered probably because the post wedding lull is a bit of a letdown. Since you don’t seem to normally have much of a relationship with your brother it’s up to you if you want to be bothered to apologize.
I would go with something insincere like “I’m sorry you found the white shirt of my suit more offensive than the white shirts worn by the men”.