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Wife leaves husband over his reaction to learning she has a higher IQ. CONCLUDED

Wife leaves husband over his reaction to learning she has a higher IQ. CONCLUDED

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"My husband is mad that I have a higher IQ and he says that he is not attracted to me anymore."

Soft-Sandwich5341

​As the title says, my husband is angry about my intelligence. He came home one day and gave me logins to some IQ tests and I scored higher than him. First he was in disbelief then a bit sulky. I thought the whole thing was stupid and I never thought or insinuated that I was “smarter” than him. I never understood the logic of these tests.

Anyway, since then, he has changed. He doesn’t want to cuddle or kiss me or anything. Last Saturday we attended a birthday party for my little nephew and my husband spent the evening chatting up my SIL’s sister who is very pretty.

When we got home, I had just had it up to here with him and started crying because he ignored me for at least three weeks and now he is flirting with other people. He denied everything. He denied having any changed feelings about me since the test but I wasn’t backing down this time.

I told him that I wasn’t stupid and that he stopped being affectionate since that damned day. He finally admitted that he was turned off by the fact that I had scored higher than him and he it made him feel less attracted to me. I asked him if he still wasn’t attracted to me and why? I haven’t changed. I’m still me.

He apologized and said that he would put his sh*t together and that he knows how silly this is. But he has been ”wary” around me since. I still think he is turned off by me. What can I do now?

Here were the top rated comments after this initial post:

kathryn_sedai

I mean, this behaviour really isn’t showing him as an intelligent person. Yikes.

OhHonaayyno

I can almost guarantee you if his came out to be higher than yours he would rub it in your face, and probably try to make you feel 'dumb' about things.

Significant_Cat_3

Honestly if he’s this hung up on an online iq test, I probably wouldn’t be attracted to him much either.

For one, tbh this whole thing is trivial and he’s dragging it out. Secondly, to me this is a red flag, he views someone smart as unattractive. Then he flirts with someone else right in front of you. You should find someone smarter, who also treats you better.

jolene401

I hate to be this person but I couldn’t trust him anymore. Seriously, he was flirting with someone right in front of you because he’s mad that you’re smarter than him. That’s disgusting behavior.

If you want it to work out then couples counseling is a must, but really ask yourself if you are attracted to him after his behavior. My spiteful ass could never put up with some of the men on this app.

DopeCactus

Almost always internet IQ tests are bullshit, but that doesn’t negate the fact that you scored higher than him on a test. He’s being a baby and it honestly sounds like he believes that women are inferior.

3 days later the OP returned with an update:

Soft-Sandwich5341

​ We are taking a break.

(Please read my first post if you don’t remember me)

So I told my husband that I have had enough. He has obviously had a change of heart and I’m not gonna be there to witness him falling out of love with me. The mere thought is painful.

He called me a drama queen and said that, while his reaction was bitter and stupid, I’m taking a huge leap in the wrong direction since he already acknowledged his mistake and is working towards being better.

I told him that it wasn’t true. He is still avoiding me like I am a leper. I also asked to see his phone. He has been talking a bit too friendly to a co worker. It started immediately after this whole test thing, like he was determined to hurt me. I don’t know what he was trying to accomplish otherwise.

In one of the texts he complained that I was neglectful and full of myself. How ironic to pretend that I’m the neglectful one when he has not even kissed my cheek in over a month. I felt like it was a matter of time before he would cheat on me. I’m not staying for that. I asked him to move out.

This morning he texted me that he loved me and that he was sorry. He didn’t know what he was trying to prove to me or to himself but that he loves me and finds me very attractive. I call bull$@*t honestly.

He is been so cold with me, flirting with everyone that looked his way and now he is all loving and affectionate? He wants us to try therapy and he suggested that he needed to work on his insecurities with a therapist, too. We have a daughter together who is 8 months old that we love more than anything but I don’t know.

Why does it feel like it is over and that I don’t trust him anymore? I feel like I know now what he’s capable of doing when faced with adversity and going through rough patches is inevitable in every marriage. I don’t like his method of dealing with it. I’m too intelligent to put up with this.

Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's update:

hyemae

He’s insecure and is trying to look for others to boost his confidence. You deserve so much more. Not a man who feel threatened by your intelligence. If anything, he should be proud of what he has. Since he cannot be that way, it just shows how self absorbed he is.

anxious_annie416

'I’m too intelligent to put up with this.'

🤣 🙌 🙌

YES YOU ARE. Don't look back girl, especially for the sake of your baby. She deserves to grow up in an environment where intelligent women are prized, not treated the way your misogynistic a** of a husband has been treating you.

happygoluckylark

Those tests are often not that accurate, but this time I think OP really was waaay smarter than her husband. What was his end game here? Smh.

StonyGiddens

I also don't put much stock in IQ tests, but she really is smarter than him.

Jjustingraham

It seems like this IQ test thing might be the latest in a long line of marital issues, but when OP said they just had a baby, it sounds like the dopey husband is conflating OPs physical changes and higher intellect with 'bad' partner aspects.

He's a Dingus for multiple reasons, not least of which online IQ tests are time wasters more than anything accurate.

So, do you think the OP was too harsh here or was her husband telling her more about himself when he was upset about the results of some silly IQ tests?

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