Woman forced to dye hair for sis's wedding, mom is 'let off the hook.' AITA?
When this woman is upset with her sister, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for not dying my hair for my sister's wedding?'
My sister (23f) invited me (19f) to her wedding happening in November. She specifically called me to tell me how my hair color (I've been dying my hair green for the past 4 years) will be distracting there...
and would take too much attention, and she asked me to dye my hair black/dark brown because it's the natural hair color of both of us. I refused, and she told me then I can't attend the wedding. I was okay with this.
I told her I didn't want to dye it such a dark color, because it's hard to remove and dye it back green. If she wanted something natural I told her I would be okay with blonde because I can dye it back the next day...
she said that wasn't natural on me also, so I still won't be allowed to attend. I didn't understand this because multiple of the other guests have dyed hair, even our mom's hair is dyed a dark purple color and she was fine with that.
My parents are angry at me for not having respect for my sister, and dying my hair in her favor, and my sister's fiancé has been texting me saying the same thing.She also said no to the wig. AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
thatguyincognito writes:
NTA. Heck, people know you for who you are and that includes your hair color. As a result, if you showed up with a wildly conventional hair color, that would draw a lot of attention. That's precisely what she says she fears.
You be you, she should love you as you are. You are not a prop to be dyed to fit her color scheme. That she is ok with purple hair on her mother indicates that she has a particular issue with you. That's sad. You didn't choose to exclude yourself, as you are, from her wedding. She did.
throwayawyfun writes:
NTA. Your sister is making a power play in your relationship now that she's 'all grown up and getting married.' Have you talked to your parents to ensure they haven't just heard a one-sided version of your story? If this is a routine thing in your relationship with sis, it won't help. If this is a on-off, it may.
You're 19, you're an adult. You're allowed boundaries and choosing how you present yourself to the world is one of those. I would vote stick to your decision.
mkat33 writes:
NTA - what she is asking could do so much damage to your hair, the dark pigment would require stripping the green, then trying to darken the pigment until it reaches the desired color. I’m assuming you already bleach your hair for the green color, so it’s already going to be more porous from being bleached over the years.
Then after when you go back to green it’s going to be a whole thing all over to do that. It’s expensive and going to be awful on your hair to do all that in a short period of time.
She’s asking for a lot and you offered a compromise, but she’s saying you have to have your natural hair color, not a natural hair color… that’s ridiculous. Your compromise was a good one, at this point it seems like she’s looking for an issue on purpose.