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Woman on spectrum asks if it's wrong to ask BF to shave beard for sensory issues.

Woman on spectrum asks if it's wrong to ask BF to shave beard for sensory issues.


Being on the spectrum is difficult, especially if your partner is doing something to trigger your sensory issues. When this woman with neurodivergent issues wants her boyfriend to shave his beard, she takes to the popular Reddit forum to ask:

'AITA for asking my fiancée to shave his beard because it gives me sensory issues?'

knightsofthunder writes:

I (20f) am a neurodivergent person (on the spectrum) and have severe sensory issues. My fiancée (21m) and I have a very good relationship where he tries his best to keep up with me and I personally think he is the most understanding person I have ever met. I really love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

He is very handsome but takes mostly pride in his beard-and-mustache combo. He says it makes him look older (he is the youngest out of 6) and better-looking. When we met, we had agreed that he would shave his mustache but not his beard because the mustache really bothered me when we kissed.

However, lately it has been awful in general to have his beard around, it’s very itchy and it gives me the worst sensory issues, to the point where I feel like I have a rash everytime he puts it near my face (I don’t, it’s just a feeling) and he says I am being unfair because we had agreed on something before, and he is right about that, but now I don’t know what to do.

My whole life I have been told to suck it up, but I know I can’t blame everything on my brain working differently. What do I do? AITA?

Well, let's see what Reddit had to say.

nebulana4374 writes:

YTA. Just because you are neurodivergent doesn't mean people have to conform to your demands. Your finance can do better. Hope he realises that.

Angstypika writes:

NTA. You are allowed to ask him to accommodate you further than what you had agreed on if a new thing is affecting you. Things change and this is related to a condition he knows about. But he is also allowed to say no.

Both of you need to decide if there is a suitable compromise or whether this is something you can live your whole life with given that you are looking to get married at some point.

popreddit disagrees:

YTA do you think it's fair for him? so instead of thinking about what you want and need, have you ever consider how he feels about it?

You know, if you kept pushing the boundary, eventually he will break. and once that's done, there is no going back. i am speaking from experience. there is no apology that can undo when trusts are broken.

Well, seems like the jury is out on this one. What do YOU think? Is OP TA, or is her request fair?

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