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'AITA for prioritizing a once-in-a-lifetime event over my best friend's wedding?'

'AITA for prioritizing a once-in-a-lifetime event over my best friend's wedding?'

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"AITA for prioritizing a once-in-a-lifetime event over my best friend's wedding?"

Hey, I (28f) am facing a real moral dilemma and could use some guidance. My best friend (29f), let's call her Sarah, is going to get married in just two weeks. We've been inseparable since childhood, and she's always been my best friend through thick and thin.

But here's where things get complicated - on the very same day as her wedding, there's this extraordinary once-in-a-lifetime event that I've been dreaming about attending for as long as I can remember.

Now, let me give you the lowdown on this event. It's a gathering within a niche hobby I'm incredibly passionate about – one that has brought immense joy and fulfillment to my life.

The event features renowned experts, exclusive workshops, and opportunities to connect with like-minded enthusiasts from all over the world. It's essentially the Super Bowl of my hobby, and it's so rare that it might never happen again in my lifetime.

I've already forked over a considerable sum for non-refundable tickets, booked accommodation, and even arranged to meet some online friends I've never had the chance to meet in person. I've been waiting for this event for years, and the stars finally aligned to make it possible this year.

Initially, Sarah was surprisingly understanding when I brought up the conflict. She even told me that her wedding was just one day and that she'd hate for me to miss out on something so meaningful to me.

However, as the wedding date looms closer, her tone has shifted. She's been subtly expressing how much she would miss me at her wedding and how crucial my presence is to her.

This has left me feeling utterly torn. On one hand, I've invested so much emotionally and financially into attending this extraordinary event, and I don't want to let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity slip through my fingers. On the other hand, I don't want to hurt Sarah's feelings or jeopardize our lifelong friendship by missing her big day.

So, AITA for even considering attending the event and potentially missing Sarah's wedding?

Let's see what internet users had to say.

asleepmention82 writes:

NAH you can say no to going to a wedding but be careful how you say this to your friend. you talk about a once in a lifetime not to be missed event and her wedding. to your friend the wedding is a once in a lifetime event. She may feel you are saying you dont expect it to last and you will get a chance at a do over on wedding no 2.

vislavizla writes:

Oof this one is tough. I think ultimately, while Sarah has been your friend all your life, she isn't your entire life. Its Sarah's wedding, not your wedding. Her wedding is super important and a special day for her.

If you had this planned Super Bowl thingy out before Sarah announced her wedding date, then I def day NTA. If you are bailing on her for 'something better' after already agreeing and RSVPing to her wedding, I'd say YTA.

cbm924 writes:

NTA. Had you committed to your friend's wedding first, I would say Y T A. But you booked this event first and even warned her about it. I know that changing your wedding date isn't easy but, if she really wanted you there, she would've considered changing it given how far out you had booked your event.

If this special event is several days, maybe look into making at least part of her wedding (if budget and timing for travel work out). If not, oh well. Send her a gift and enjoy your event.

pegletvet writes:

NAH. Of course she wants you at her wedding and would be sad if you weren't there. That's understandable. And of course, you don't want to miss this event that you were already planning for and putting money into. Also understandable.

Unfortunately, this is a tough predicament, and there is no good answer for you here. Either your friend is going to feel hurt or you're going to regret not going to the event.

Maybe you have 3rd friend who would be willing to stream it so you can watch and join in somewhat from wherever you are.

In response to comments OP said this:

I understand how my phrasing might be a bit confusing. What I meant is that while this type of event does happen sporadically, it's extremely rare for it to align with my schedule and personal circumstances.

It's not like a comet or eclipse that happens predictably but more like a special convention or gathering within my hobby, which tends to occur infrequently and often in different locations. So, even though it's not technically a "once in a lifetime" event in the strictest sense, the timing and circumstances make it feel that way for me personally.

Yes I bought the tickets before the date was decided, and I think I did immediately tell her that the event is going to be happening in that time, which was the moment she originally expressed her support of me hoing to the event.

Sources: Reddit
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