Woman REFUSES to date short men who lie about their height. AITA?
When this woman feels guilty about her dating standards, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for refusing to date short men that lie about it?"
I'm tall for a woman. 5'8", in the 90th percentile for height for women. I don't lie about my height, I'm very up front about it. I have a dating profile and it says right on the profile: 5'8"/173cm.
I frequently match with men close to my height or taller than me. I'm willing to date those shorter than me, but there aren't many of them on the apps. Until you meet them. And then virtually 80% of men lie about their height.
So no, height is not my dealbreaker. Lying is. If you lie to me about something I can easily disprove, like your height, I will think you are lying about other things and I will have a poor foundation of trust. Then I will be uninterested in pursuing things further.
I will happily go on a date with a man that is 5'6" and says he is 5'6". If a man lies to me, says he is 5'10", and shows up being 5'6"? I have zero interest in this man. Not because he's short, but because he lied.
I will similarly kick a guy to the curb if he says he is 6'2" and is actually 5'10". It's not the height, it's the lying. One guy even tried to tell me that 5'7" was the same thing as 6'2" "in his country". Others "apologize" for "converting metric to inches wrong". Riiight.
So these short kings then lose their shit and call me "elitist" for not wanting to go out with them again because of their heights. I can explain til I'm blue in the face it was because they lied and not because of their height, and they will not care or believe me.
Also, my previous partners (in LTRs) have been: 5'2", 5'7", 5'7" and 5'10". So I'm not "only" going for tall guys.
After it happened for the umpteenth time, I'm here, wondering if I'm an asshole for my stringent "don't lie about obvious things on a first date" policy. For what it's worth, any other obvious lies get a pass from me as well, height is just REALLY OBVIOUS. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
foolinthezoo writes:
NTA. I'm a very short guy (5'4") and met my wife on one of the apps. I've always been transparent about my height because.. (A) being insecure about it is unattractive,
(B) lying about it - to yourself or others - is unethical, (C) I'd rather someone swipe left than waste my time going on the date with someone who isn't actually interested. You are never in the wrong for refusing to date liars, whether they're tall or short.
ilircamessica writes:
NTA! You made it clear. The height is not an issue. Lying is. I myself am tall for a woman. I"m 5'10 and I know women taller than me exist. I don't date liars, cheaters, etc.
antioch disagrees:
I'm sorry but YTA. Men are so criticized for being short. If they are lying about their height they aren't necessarily liars. They might just want people to meet up with them without swiping left. Don't be so harsh.