When this woman is upset with her aunt, she asks Reddit:
First, english is not my first language, sorry about any mistakes. Second, throwaway because I do not want any association with this in my personal account.
The story: My estranged father passed away three months ago. I was contacted as the closet relative, and after I contacted my aunt, my fathers sister, which I did not have contact to either.
There was a 'formal' meeting the day after, which traditionally is where you see the departed, and a undertaker is selected. I went, with my mother (for moral support) and my aunt also came (I said if she wanted to she could).
When it came to select the undertaker, I said I would not select one, since
I honestly did not care. ( did not say it with these exact words) Did not want to risk being stuck with the bill, if he had left no money to cover it.
My aunt got mad, and decided she would be selecting one which was fine by me. It turned out that my father had some money and the official things (the funeral) was paid before I got my inheritance.
The problem is the money did not cover the memorial gathering that my aunt decided to hold after the funeral.
Now my aunt insist that I reimburse her. She apparently though that would be covered before I got the inheritance, and knew that he had some money/valueable stuff.
I was not present at the funeral or the gathering after, and I had made it clear that I did not want for anything to be planned.
The inheritance could pay for the gathering but not much would be left, and I honestly would rather pay for the therapy debt which my father is the reason I have. So, AITA?
NTA. Your aunt chose to have a memorial gathering, which from what you wrote, is not traditionally considered part of the funeral or else the estate would have covered the expense.
No one knew how much money your father had when he passed, yet your aunt decided to throw a party. Let her cover it as her last gift to her brother. Hugs.
NTA. It sounds like a complicated situation, but based on what you've described, you were clear about your boundaries from the beginning.
Legally, and in many cultures, funeral expenses are typically deducted from the estate before inheritance is divided. If your aunt decided on additional events beyond what the estate covered, that's on her.
ESH if she knew what was covered and still chose to do more. You really should have told her up front, “I am not paying for anything.” Not saying that directly makes you a bit of an A.