Woman refuses to sit near ex-stepdad at half sister's wedding. AITA?
When this woman is upset with her half sister, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for threatening to not attend my half sisters wedding?"
A little backstory, I have a half sister, let's name her Bryony and we have a good relationship. We don't speak super often but get on well enough. We have the same mum but different dads.
I grew up with her dad, let's call him Curt. He would constantly drink and take drugs, would yell and talk down to me, lose his temper and is just a nasty individual to be around. He did time in prison for armed robbery which shows how out of control he can get.
Curt and my mum split up about 15 years ago but he has caused issues since such as threatening my mums new partner, refusing to sign the divorce papers and drunk texting/calling Bryony random ramblings.
My sister is getting married in the next few months She won't let Curt walk her down the aisle and has made him promise to not drink, which shows that she is concerned about his behavior.
But for some reason she is insisting that Curt sits with my mum, her partner and I at the same table as we know him?!
For me this is too much and I have said that we shouldn't have to deal with him as we actively dislike him and things will most likely kick off if he is sat with us. Bryony has said that it is her wedding and she wants us at the same table as it's easier and he knows us and she doesn't want to subject him to other people.
I have then said that if the seating plan doesn't change that I won't be attending, Being at the wedding with him is bad enough but to be forced to endure 2 hours at the same table with a man who had a big part in my childhood not being as good as it could be seems a lot to take.
I do feel strongly about this but am genuinely not sure if I should just suck it up and go anyway.AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
ladycacss79 writes:
NTA. I would say that being around Curt makes you feel unsafe. If she can't respect that, don't go. Its not an invalid concern. Quite honestly, I wouldn't go if he were even attending. However, all the fake names in the world and you choose Bryony? WTH? lol
darya42 writes:
NAH. She can invite him to her wedding if that's what she wants to do. And you are fully entitled not to go if you don't want to be near him, or refuse to go if you're seated there. It's understandable.
I had a similar situation with my half-sister. She invited person X and Y. I do not attend any events with those two people for good reason (abuse backstory with them). I didn't go. She's entitled to invite them, I'm entitled not to go.
What you both shouldn't do is expect. She should not be expecting you to attend with this seating arrangement, and you should not expect her to disinvite her dad for you. She has no right to be mad at you if you refuse to attend. You have no right to be mad at her for inviting her dad.
sensitivetorn23 writes:
I’m torn on this one. It’s good that you have boundaries but instead of threatening to not attend your half-sister’s wedding (which will make her feel defensive), you should very plainly remind her...
that he’s behaved in inappropriate and borderline abusive ways towards yourself, your mum, and her partner, so that you will all need to sit at a different table than Curt in order to feel safe and happy.
Your sister probably already knows this on some level but may be fooling herself about how much her dad’s behavior has affected you. I’m hoping she’s willing to work out an alternative seating arrangement for you, and if she’s generally a reasonable person, it seems possible.