Woman REFUSES to eat meals with her partner. 'It's barbaric.' AITA?
When this woman is grossed out by her partner, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for not eating meals with my partner?"
So, disclosure: I love my SO. They are absolutely the person I want to spend all my time with, and I thoroughly enjoy making them happy as I can. We've been together for more than a few years now. Let's call them a super non-binary name like Chris, just in case they find this. We're Nth generation Americans, so nothing below is cultural that I can tell.
Chris has some eating habits that they're unwilling to change, and I just cannot have a meal with them.
They eat with their hands. We're not talking about fries and pizza, we're talking about picking out the sliced olives from their salad. If I grill some veggies, then they'll ignore the utensils altogether, and eat with their fingers. It's not a huge deal, but happens enough that it makes me feel a little uncomfortable.
Open mouth chewing. This is the killer for me. Chewing with their mouth open and then licking or smacking their lips. It's not a quiet chewing either, as it's a bite of a burger for example, and then chewing without closing their lips. After a bite, it's a half tongue out to lick their lips.
It'd be one thing if I could just read a book or check my phone while we're eating but the killer is always the sounds! I can hear the SMACK SMACK SMACK while eating. Did I mention the soup slurping? There's soup slurping too. All the noises while eating.
For a few months now, I've been avoiding meals at home together (mostly dinners), where I'll make them a meal, and then just say I'm not feeling well or hungry. They began to notice that I had an appetite when eating out at restaurants or with company, but seemed to be avoiding the issue at home.
So I explained the issues, and they seemed super oblivious about it. So I asked if I could point out when they were doing it, in case it was thoroughly subconscious. We tried that for a bit, but they quickly became frustrated with my "constant corrections."
I've given up at this point, and have considered this to just be something we agree to disagree about.
I absolutely love every other interaction we have, and everything else in this relationship aligns exceedingly well.
AITA for just avoiding meals with them when we're alone? They expressed how they're feeling hurt when I avoid meals, or point out the noises, but they're also unwilling to work on the uncomfortable (for me) sound effects.
When we're eating with others, then I'll stick around but usually ensure that I'm back in the kitchen to "finish up" or clean etc. while they eat so I enjoy more of my meal without the barbaric sounds (I kid, but seriously...) AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
bellebridge writes:
NTA Look up misophonia. Also, was your partner raised in a barn? Open mouth chewing is gross; no one wants to see your food while you’re eating it. Does your partner eat like this around other people or just at home? Like is this an adult who is eating salad with fingers at a restaurant or someone else’s house?
theteaisshotwithmilk writes:
NTA I like heard that in my mind and I am angry at the sounds lol. Its not an american culture thing at all, and according to american culture that is rude. You chew with your mouth closed, some people go as far as to try to be as quiet as possible when chewing. The grabbing things with hands is a bit strange but eh. Tho from this whole thing I can only imagine like a kid doing all this.
mommabroiles writes:
NTA we all have issues and that would be a big one for me also. If they aren't even willing to try then separate meals are the solution. I don't see it as a big deal as long as you carve out time to sit, talk about each other's day, decompress etc, things you might normally do during meal time. There's zero reason you have to eat together.