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Woman refuses to pay fiancé's hospital bill; he's angry, says he needs to save money.

Woman refuses to pay fiancé's hospital bill; he's angry, says he needs to save money.


AITA for leaving the hospital after my fiance told me to pay the bill?

For context:. Me f26 and my fiance m28 have been together for 3 years. Finances are split til after marriage. We have equally paying jobs.

He doesn't pay when we eat out, he doesn't pay for any fixes in our rental apartment, and also doesn't help with furniture and stuff. I tried to have conversations about how I'm always supposed to foot the bill for almost everything.

His excuse is that he's been saving for a new apartment (been saving up for 2 years now). But he still has half of his salary which he uses on himself and buys gadgets and gaming stuff. When I try to argue about it he'd say it's his money after all, and remind me of how he's saving up to buy an apartment for us.

Days ago, he called me and asked that I take him to the hospital to treat his ankle. It's been hurting him for weeks but only now he decided to get it checked. I drove him there since he was in pain, but was surprised when he told me to pay the bill. I asked why not him and he brought up the new apartment he's been saving for again.

I had it, especially after he threatened to not add my name to the new apartment's title if I refuse to help him out. I snapped and told him to pay for himself and stop using my money with the apartment excuse then I left.

He had to pay but was furious saying I'd let him down in his time of struggle. Also said that my attitude isn't partner material. I told him I felt like he was using the new apartment to spend my money but he said I had no empathy or sense of responsibility to support and help him out when doing me a huge favor and buying me an entire freaking apartment!.

He's calling me selfish and negative. Idk. I feel guilty for doing this and now he's avoiding me entirely

Questions, answers and comments:

stojakBoTak says:

NTA and frankly speaking - how do you see your future with him if financially he is abusing you? Because this is financial abuse.

Throwaway5767411 OP responded:

Honestly? I don't know why he's doing this. This whole 'saving up for an apartment' started during our second year of dating. After the engagement it got worse with him expecting me to pay for almost everything?

Status-Pattern7539 says:

NTA. You are being used. 100% when he has enough money for the apartment, he dumps you. Stop footing the bill. Leave him.

Background-Pitch9339 says:

NTA...also honey...He hasn't saved for an apartment. He'll have an excuse when the time comes. Don't marry this user. You're worth more.

MiddleCommercial3633 says:

NTA. Ask him how much he's saved up by now. Ask for a timeline on this supposed new apartment. Tell him you'll start saving up to pay half of it. And let him know you expect him to start pulling his weight on the everyday spending from now on.

Sources: Reddit
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