Hi all! I’m not usually a snarky person, so am feeling a bit bad about this. Could use your opinions. This took place a bit over a month ago.
Last month, I (23F) was at my friend’s bachelorette weekend. Our weddings were very close together - hers was only a couple weeks before mine. Of the 6 women who were at the bachelorette weekend, 1 was single, 4 of us were engaged and the 6th was in a long term relationship.
Throughout the weekend, I was intentionally making sure to not comment on my engagement or upcoming wedding - I wanted the trip to be all about the bride! The only exception was when the bride herself asked me about my engagement ring.
I told her that the ring (which is very simple, with a gold band and 0.25 carat diamond) was actually from my grandmother. She had removed the original diamond, but left the ring and its setting, which she gave to my fiancé. He then bought a new diamond and had it placed in the setting.
The bride and all the other women there commented on how sweet it was that I had my grandmother’s ring - except for one, “Brittany”. Brittany looked at my ring, and said that it was “far too small for her taste.” She then started talking about how she “would never accept an old, secondhand ring” and that she was “shocked” that I was willing to wear a “hand me down piece of jewelry.”
At first, I laughed it off and said that I was actually really touched that my grandmother had given it to me. But she then rolled her eyes and responded “That’s great for you! But I’ll make sure that my man has to pick out and pay for the ring himself. I feel like it’s a representation of how much he values me, you know?”
This really rubbed me the wrong way, and this is where I might be the AH. Brittany was the one single woman there, so I didn’t know why she was being so hostile about my ring. I responded, “Oh, that’s okay! You won’t have to worry about that for a while.” Brittany looked upset, and then left to go get some snacks without returning to the group for a while.
Most of the women didn’t seem to think anything of what I said, but one of them (a close friend of Brittany) pulled me aside later and said that I shouldn’t have made Brittany feel like “even more of an outsider” with my comment. She thinks that I should’ve been more sensitive to her being the only one there who wasn’t in a relationship. So, AITAH?
NTA she was putting you down and your ring from your grandmother. You shut her down real quick. She shouldn’t dish it out if she can’t take it.
Yeah I just felt like the whole thing was unnecessary. But I was/am worried that I should’ve been more sensitive, since she was the only single person there and I think she’s a little insecure about that.
Just because she's not in a relationship doesn't mean she can tell people whatever she wants. NTA.
NTA. If she wants to say bitchy comments she needs to be prepared to receive something back. The cost of a ring doesn't necessarily reflect a person's love.
NTA. I don't know who could manage not to be snarky when someone insults something so personal (and it's such a sweet story.) She was trying to get a rise out of you. I wonder what her issue is (something to do with insecurity/jealousy, obviously). How lovely to have a ring that comes with a story (and not an ostentatious stone.)
I appreciate it! Like I said, it’s really not like me, but I was pretty hurt that she was being so rude for no reason. I don’t know what her issue is either.
I don't think it was for "no reason." Half of these threads are people reading into stuff that might not be there (so allow me lol) but I would guess she did feel like the outsider.
That may have manifested in mean comments toward you at a moment when the soon-to-be bride began expressing how similar all of you were (except for this lady). Still, her comments were quite bad and hurtful, you just hit back a bit. Honestly sounds like she'd need the lesson.