Woman shocked when woman at gym says 'I'm jealous of your ugly privilege.'
When this woman shocked by another woman's comment at the gym, she asks Reddit:
'Am I wrong for not lashing out at this girl for saying that I have “ugly privilege”?'
I still feel so gobsmacked from this interaction I’m not even mad I’m just confused about what I should have done. I was talking to this girl who I sat next to during spin class about how hard the class was outside after it had ended.
For a little bit of context, we are both in our early 20s but she looks like your quintessential tall, tan, and pretty blonde while I’m darker skinned and built like a toadstool (short and stout). We were both in workout clothes, and a guy catcalled her saying how good she looked in her fit walking by with his friends. She scoffed, turned to me, and said…
“omg guys are so disgusting. You’re so lucky that you have ugly privilege and don’t have to worry about things like that”
Being floored and VERY confused, I ask her what she meant and she clarified that I clearly don’t have to worry about things like being catcalled, harassed by men, or being discriminated against in the workplace.
She also said that it must be so refreshing to not have to spend hours worrying about how I look around men. Genuinely being at a loss for words, I just said okay and told her to have a good day before I went to my car and sat in confusion for five minutes.
I called my boyfriend and told him about the interaction. After sharing in my initial shock, he was confused as to why I didn’t have a comeback and told me that I should have stood up for myself.
I’m normally a very passive person and she genuinely didn’t seem to get how insulting it sounded, but now I’m wondering if I should have lashed out? AITA?
Let's see what readers thought of this situation. They had a lot of thoughts on the term 'ugly privilege.'
justanothersaddy writes:
There is no ugly privilege. In fact it literally hurts your chances to be a success. But you can’t be that ugly if you have a boyfriend lol!! Honestly though, character is something that transcends looks and that’s what makes or breaks a person.
I have a body like yours, I never had a problem with men. I’m not ugly and I highly doubt you are. She’s just an insecure woman that lives on toxic tik tok lol.
daoneandonly writes:
I don’t see this as trying to insult you but I’ve noticed a lot of people in these comments seem to find it offensive. I don’t understand why you didn’t express how it made you feel and initiate a conversation about it, or at least try to understand her point and where she was coming from.
“Ugly privilege” is a thing Imo, but people without “pretty privilege” often don’t see it at all. I don’t think she had Ill intention and I perceived her statement as you are lucky you are not constantly objectified. And of course anyone with “pretty privilege” having a difference in opinion regarding it is normally not accepted.
People often don’t want to think of themselves as “less attractive” and perceive a difference in opinion regarding pretty privilege as trying to be mean. But imo, if that were to happen again and it upsets you, I would express that and how it made you feel. You never know someone’s intention until you talk with them about it.
She may not know it upset you. Everyone in the comments is being judgmental when she simply could just have a different opinion. Being pretty has countless of cons, everyone’s feelings and opinions are still valid. But I don’t understand all the hate on either side. I would reach out whenever you figure out how it made you feel and discuss it!
smellslikeautumn writes:
NTA off course, she was looking for a reaction. Some people can only elevate themselves by putting others down. If she pulls that again tho just say in the most condescending way possible 'oh honey, don't worry, you are still ugly on the inside.'