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Woman's stepsisters and mom read her diary, blame her for toxic family secrets. AITA?

Woman's stepsisters and mom read her diary, blame her for toxic family secrets. AITA?


When this woman refuses to feel guilty about her stepsisters learning the truth about her family history, she asks Reddit:

"AITA for not taking any of the blame for my stepsisters learning the truth?"

A few days ago my two younger stepsisters ages 9 and 8 found my therapy journal in my room after my mom decided she wanted to do a deep clean of my stuff and clear out "unwanted junk". Now I'm not sure if I totally believe that.

But basically she recruited my stepsisters to help her out and they went through my desk and found the journal and then read it. All while my mom was in the room.

They became upset with what they read and my mom then takes it off them and reads it too. I (17F) was at my grandparents since the previous day and arrived home to them in the living room with the girls crying and my mom and stepfather glaring at me.

BG: I started in therapy age 10 after my mom and stepfather married. Two years prior I had lost my dad to a heart condition and my stepsister's mother also died but the details around that have always been very secret.

My mom told me just before the wedding that she and my stepfather were expecting me to be a good big sister to my stepsisters and to really take an interest in bonding with them because I was so much older. I told her they weren't my siblings and I didn't want to be their big sister.

She and my stepfather then decided that I needed therapy and so I was sent to therapy. My therapist had me use the journal to figure out more of my feelings.

Those were things like I resented my mom for expecting so much of me, I resented her for remarrying so fast after dad died and only giving me four months to get to know her husband and never asking me what I thought of him before they got engaged (they were married within a few weeks of the engagement).

I realized I didn't hate the girls but was indifferent to them and had no interest in being their big sister. It also made me realize through the years of therapy that no point came where I would stay in their lives if my mom and her husband divorced. When my mom and my stepfather separated for a period of time I was happy.

All that stuff was in the journal and I kept it because I still occasionally see my therapist. My stepsister's read a lot of the stuff about them.

Between my stepfather telling them I had done all this stuff for them that I hadn't (like he bought them bracelets and said they were from me, etc) which I only found out that day and apparently and my lack of outright being cold to them, they thought I loved them and that we were sisters forever, no matter what.

My mom and stepfather demanded that I apologize and make amends for the insensitive and mean spirited things I wrote. They told me I needed to take accountability for what I wrote in that journal and for feeling that way.

Once the girls were out of the room I told them it was not my fault and if anyone was to blame it was mom for inviting them to look through stuff in my room and then not watching them, if that's actually how things went down.

They told me to take accountability for my actions and by claiming it's all on my mom it shows I am an immature little girl. AITA?

Let's see what readers thought.

woopiwoper writes:

NTA. As others have said they invaded your privacy. No one has any right to make you apologize or make up for anything in your journal.

In fact perhaps your mom should have learned how damaging her behavior was, and why it was wrong to force you to behave certain way, and she should've respected and looked after your feelings more at the time Good luck. I hope your mother is capable of self reflection and admitting when she's wrong.

Sources: Reddit
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