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Woman tells ex husband's GF, 'he will always pick me over you.' AITA?

Woman tells ex husband's GF, 'he will always pick me over you.' AITA?


"AITA for taking the attention away from my ex-husband's new girlfriend and telling her that 'he'll choose me over her if he has to'?"


My best friend "Alex" (M26) and I (F26) have been inseparable since we were 5 years old. When we were 13, we tried dating. We got married in college, and a few years later we had a daughter, "Yasmin" (F3).

Nevertheless, circumstances turned out that two years ago we decided to break up, but after a while, when we were convinced that we had no feelings for each other, we resumed platonic communication. I'm in a stable relationship with another person now, but Alex is still my best friend.

I mean, he literally saved me from my abusive family. We don't feel attracted to each other, but we've been through a lot together and we'll never stop being family to each other. I immediately warned my new partner that Alex was actively involved in my life and Yasmin's, and he had the right to leave if he knew he would be jealous.

Recently, Alex also had a girlfriend (F23), her name is "Molly". Molly was made aware of our friendship and deliberately decided to put up with it. Everything was going well until Christmas came.

My partner and I were flying to another country, and Yasmin was supposed to stay for the holidays with Alex and his parents. When I took my daughter to their house, Molly was there. Alex's mom gave me a present. It was a expensive gadget for my hobby, which I had long dreamed of. I noticed that Molly was upset, but I didn't think much of it.

When I returned from my trip, Alex said that we needed to talk. He told me that Molly was very upset that his mom had given me a special gift, but hadn't even given her a postcard (in fact, his parents just didn't know she was coming). She's supposedly mad at me because I, being an ex, am taking away her place in this family.

I decided to talk to Molly personally and apologize. I told her that I understand that few people can be in a relationship like this without being jealous or worried, so I'm not mad at her, but she was warned at the very beginning.

She said that yes, it was true, but she didn't think that the presence of Yasmin or me would be noticeable in literally all areas of life, and she would like me to distance myself from Alex a little so that he "would stop giving me so much importance."

I told her that this would not happen. We ended up having a bit of a fight, and I told her that if my partner had forced me to choose between him and Alex, I would have chosen Alex, and I know that he would do the same.

Well, now Molly thinks I want them to break up and tells everyone who's willing to listen about it. Alex thinks we're both being silly and being dramatic. I'm not mad at Molly because I understand how unnerving this situation can be, but I'm not ready to flush 21 years of strong friendship down the toilet in order to make her feel better.

I swear to God, I'm not interested in Alex, I literally got a proposal three days ago, lol. But maybe I said too much to her and I should have been softer and more accommodating, especially considering that the situation with the gift was really ugly. AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


I'm going with ESH. Molly because she's angry at the wrong person. You for not seeing that this is always going to be an issue, with Molly or another because of Alex's behaviour. Alex for 1. not telling his parents he was bringing his GF for Christmas, and 2. because he's not acting like an adult in this.

Sounds to me like he's enjoying the fact that two women are "fighting over him" and he's not planning on setting boundaries with anybody. Welcome to the joys of blended families with a jerk in the middle.


Molly is also appalling for this:

'She did no think that the presence of Yasmin or me would be noticeable in literally all areas of life.'

She seems to be expecting Alex to just be a Disney dad, seeing Yasmin now and then. Frankly, none of these folks sound mature enough to be in relationships. ESH.



Take this from someone who's best mate is also a ex and has been for over a decade. Do not get in the middle of their relationship issues. This is not your circus anymore. If she has an issue, with the dynamic between you two or with his family it is for your mate to solve with her. Stay way way out of it.

One day he is gonna have a long term partner and probably more kids. Don't think you can not be with the guy and stay his most meaningful relationship. You will have to learn to be respectful and play nice with whoever he chooses eventually, so get in the practice.


Yta. Honestly this whole post gives me icks. You and your ex sound like selfish a**es who delight in your "not like other exes" status.


Hmm, I wonder how your boyfriend would react if he heard you were ready to get rid of him in a second?? He can really trust you and build your relationship. And how would you react if you heard your boyfriend say something like that about you?

It's one thing to be in good relations, to be good friends, parents, and another to be AH. It's not about the gift you got from his mom, it's about your conversation with his girlfriend.

It can be seen that you are young and immature because this is not at all the way you talk to his girlfriend or say for him what he would like and how he would like it. Leave it to them.

Be on good terms, there are still many years of joint upbringing and decision-making about your daughter, but you absolutely must define the limit of involvement in your relationships with other people. YTA.

So, do you think the OP is the AH here? Are they actively trying to jeopardize their ex husband's relationship with their new life partner?

Sources: Reddit
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