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Woman asks if she was wrong to 'abandon' needy step-kids to attend sister's wedding.

Woman asks if she was wrong to 'abandon' needy step-kids to attend sister's wedding.


Dating someone with children can be difficult. Not only do you have to date this person, but you'll also have to develop a relationship with their children. What happens if you create a relationship that's so good that the kids never want to be without you?

On a popular Reddit thread, in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a woman asks if she was wrong to tell her partner that she won't be watching his kids so she can go to her sister's wedding.

AITA for insisting on attending my sister's wedding?

Dating in your 30s hits different.

I f32 been dating John m37 for two years. He's a single dad to 3 kids [4m (jr), 6m,9m]. I moved in with him and his kids a little while ago. I haven't been able to meet them til later on in our relationship because he said they might not like me. I have to say that he's super protective of his kids.

He eased them into accepting me by encouraging and pushing me to be 'extra friendly' to them by buying them stuff and cooking for them daily.

Careful boys being clingy is the easiest way to scare someone away.

He's swamped constantly, and the boys have now clung to me because they see me more than they see him. Don't get me wrong; I'm grateful for this outcome, but the issue is that I can't be away from them for a long time.

Now that I've moved in, I can't go anywhere without taking them with me. I can barely have time for myself but what's worse is that my work got interrupted by that. John suggested I work fewer hours, but it didn't happen.

They're your kids, John. You can take care of them for a day.

Now my sister is getting married soon. The wedding will be held hours away so I'll have to travel. The invitation stated 'child-free,' so I can't take the kids. When John heard about this he told me to immediately call and apologize cause I won't be attending. I was stunned. I asked why and he went on about how much the kids adore me and how they'll go crazy when I'm hours away from them.

Who's being selfish?

Besides, he's too busy to look after them. I said it's not my fault and he should either take time off work and stay with them or get a babysitter. He threw a fit about how selfish and unfeeling I was and that he would only let me attend the wedding when I told my sister to let the kids come, but I can't ask her for such a thing!

There comes a time in every relationship when you must choose between your sister and step-children.

I INSISTED on going after he kept saying I shouldn't go. He told the boys I was looking for an excuse to get some time away from them, and now they won't even speak to me.

I confronted him about what he did and he said it was the result of me 'insisting' on going to the wedding and choosing my sister over my stepkids. He even said I should be thankful that the kids 'accept' me for who I am and give me this much attention. I was speechless and felt offended.

OP is asking for your judgment.

AITA for standing my ground and wanting to go? She's my only sister, and we have a great relationship, so not attending her wedding can cause issues.

Redittor72529 says:

NTA. This man is taking advantage of you. The fact that he asked you to work fewer hours is a major red flag, IMO.

000-Hotaru-Tomoe says:

NTA. You realize that this man is keeping you as a free babysitter and housekeeper to escape his parental duty, yes?

kr0mb0pulous_michael says:

NTA. 'LET you attend the wedding'?

HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE red flag there.

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