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Woman tells younger sister; 'DON'T send me a wedding dress pic, it's RUDE.' AITA?

Woman tells younger sister; 'DON'T send me a wedding dress pic, it's RUDE.' AITA?


When this woman is annoyed with her sister, she asks Reddit:

"AITA for Telling My Sister It Was Rude To Send Me a Wedding Dress Pic?"

Context- my sister is 2 years younger than me (I'm 37f) and is getting married. She and I haven't spoken very often for the past 4 years and certainly don't have deep conversations.

Due to my family continually gossiping or being judgemental I told them 15 years ago after my first boyfriend any I broke up that they wouldn't be told if I was dating someone until it was serious.

To be fair, while I tried online dating for years and have my share of bad first date stories, it's never gone beyond that until this year.

I have been dating someone for over six months. Knowing that my sister was talking about getting engaged and was planning a very short (3 month) engagement, I decided to tell my family that I was in a serious relationship.

I also wanted them to meet my bf over Christmas. I didn't want to just show up with a date to family events without letting the hosts (one of my older sisters and her family) know.

I called my older sister in the morning and she was completely okay with meeting my bf. I was excited to share about him. :) that afternoon, my younger sister texted me that she could have gotten a free size 4 wedding dress from Facebook marketplace (in the city I live in) and I asked if she wanted me to pick it up for her.

She said no, it wasn't really her style but it would have been fun to try on. Plus, she was waiting for the dress she'd ordered online to arrive. She then sent me a Screenshot of a size 12 wedding dress for $80 with the caption "Here's one for you. Lol. I've tried clicking Facebook to show me less but I haven't been successful yet."

I assumed that she'd found out from our one sister I dating so I sent back a pic of myself and my bf. While she had been immediately responding she now took 4 minutes to respond with, "Who's that?" I told her "my boyfriend". She said, "He looks happy".

I got on the phone with her and asked if she knew I was dating. She said no, she was surprised to hear it. When I said she was rude to send a wedding dress to someone she thought was single and had been for 15 years she told me that I was the one with the problem and she had sent it to me because it was obviously too big for her and something I could actually afford.

I told her congratulations on her upcoming marriage and that obviously we still have difficulty communicating with each other. We both have talked to our sisters and mom about this situation and while I know it's silly, it bothers me that I was told I was the one being rude when I called her rude for sending it. Aita?

Let's see what readers thought.

empressjainasili writes:

I’m confused. She sent you a picture, you then have a positive conversation where you tell her about your boyfriend and bond, and then after that positive experience you call her to criticize her for sending the picture? Is that correct?

It sounds like you keep things to yourself only to judge others for not being aware of those things. It seems like you are insecure about what you think your family thinks about your dating life when in fact those issues don’t exist.

I, too, used to believe things about others and that they were judging me. It took a ton of hard work to realize the judgments and insecurities were coming from anxiety and not from outside issues.

Once I started expressing myself to others it became very clear that the battles I was fighting were completely about me and weren’t actually conflicts in the first place. It turned out people weren’t out to get me or angry with me. In fact, they often had no idea I felt that way in the first place.

There is no “we” here. There is only you, and your needs to work on yourself and your communication. YTA.

routinfocus7 writes:

NTA, she sent it to you specifically as a dig about your weight and finances. She said as much when she spoke on the phone to you. If it was something else, like she saw it and thought it might look pretty on you, she would have said that.

But she didn’t. She seems like she is one of those insecure types that likes to put others down to make themselves feel better. I sent you a dress that was way too big for me but might fit you, and it’s cheap so you can afford it. Staying LC sounds like the best solution.

wnynottis9 writes:

Yta how is it rude to send someone a wedding dress? It sounds like she was looking at them and found one she thought ud look good in. U don't have to be in a relationship to think about wedding dresses.

Looks like the jury's out. What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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